On Hold
by castlefan6
Summary: This is my AU version of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. Picks up immediately before "See you in the fall?" This one's for Kate, you asked, I delivered. SW requested dedicated to Kate !
1. Chapter 1

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Forward.**

 **I've had several requests, most are to continue with Down for the Count and Collection of Memories which I will do. I wanted to step away, for a brief time and honor a request, well at least do my best to do so, from fellow writer Swordwriter who has encouraged me to become better with each chapter I write. If you haven't read his work, please do so, it is detailed enough for the Armed Force veterans to follow yet allows those who did not serve an understanding to his story.**

 **The request was to pick up from the end scene of Season 2, the See you in the fall, and the pathetic look on KB's face as Rick walks away with his ex-wife to stuuuppp all summer long in the Hamptons.**

 **I chose to look at how each spent that summer, I know there have been a ton of stories already published, but I have yet to deal with the root cause of the anxiety, Lies and Deceit. Having experience this in a personal setting I write from some experience, and some of just conjecture, but one fact I want to spell out now for the reviewers, Anon, Guests and those that log in. I DO NOT HATE KATE BECKETT, I am a Caskett shipper from day one, as my other stories show.**

 **Any reviews that contain Beckett bashing, or trying to get me to write a story you want to tell but are too lazy to do so will be deleted. I enjoy writing as a hobby, I post frequently since my BIGGEST Peeve with an author is slow updates. The excuse that Real Life (RL) got in the way is acceptable from time to time for us all, but I don't want to have to go back and read the last 5 chapters to understand what the new chapter was conveying because it had been 8 months since the last post.**

 **That leads me to my favorites, The Grammar Police, I don't employ a beta for a reason, I control the time of the updates and ALL errors are mine. My background as a Senior Level Director for the largest software company in the world, with teaching for over 8 years at a private and exclusive university in Ohio supports my credentials. If I proof and miss a word, or use the wrong version of it, I don't mind it being pointed out, PROVIDED there is some other critique that either supports or objects to what I have written in a professional manner. One reader pointed out the use of Carrots instead of carats and along with her feedback I laughed about as hard as she did.**

 **Far too many great authors have been chased from this site by the little people who have nothing to do but try to make others look small. I encourage you to challenge those that do this, if you enjoy the work we pour out, we ask for little. Reviews, Follows, Favorites let us gauge how well we are hitting our target audience. If the story is not for you, which often it won't be, move on and find a new story. No need to bash or insult those who are brave enough to publish their works.**

 **My Regulars will tell you that I answer every PM, and will discuss points of the story, and why I took the direction I did, even if it's wait a few more chapters and you'll see. I have been welcomed into this community with open arms and I thank each of you for your kindness. I have used the block tool only three times and hope I don't have to do it ever again.**

 **Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy this one as well, and Swordwriter, I hope I do you proud,**

 **Tim**

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 1**

 **Previously**

 _ESPOSITO  
So...Castle's last case, huh?_

 _BECKETT  
Mm-hmm._

 _ESPOSITO  
Ryan and I thought we'd do a little going away party._

 _BECKETT  
Yeah, well, it's not like he's leaving forever._

 _ESPOSITO  
You sure about that? Why do you think he's been following you around all this time? What, research? The guy's done enough research to write 50 books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't include watching you be with another guy._

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **During the Going Away Party**

Everyone is sitting around the table making jokes, Castle has just made them laugh recounting him leaving Alexis for three weeks, "There were tears, lots of tears, Alexis was fine though" as they all laugh. Beckett enters the room, opens a beer, and exchanges friendly banter with Lanie and Castle.

"Rick can I see you in private for a minute please?"

"Sure" as he makes his way from the table following her out into the bull pen.

"What's up?" he asks.

"Well, could we go to the conference room, I would like this to be private" Kate says with a nervous tone he has never heard before.

As he follows her lead to the open conference room, there is a voice that sends chills down Kate's spine,

"Richard are you almost ready, we'll be stuck in traffic for hours if we don't leave soon?" coos, Gina Cowell, ex-wife number 2, and the buxom blonde that she's still concerned about being too close to Castle.

"Hi Gina, sorry I'll be with you shortly, we have some last-minute details to work out for when I'm gone. Grab a coffee for you and me for the road please, the break room is there to your left, I won't be long." Rick smiles.

"Hi Detective Beckett, it's good to see you and thanks for your help in tracking Richard down the other day, I hope I didn't spoil your date by calling?"

"Hi Gina, always a pleasure and no you didn't spoil anything, it was just a lunch not really a date," catching herself, why the hell was she justifying her actions with Tom to Gina, and why the hell was she here?

"That's good to hear, I won't have to bother you again for the summer, Rick is taking me to the Hampton's, so I can stay on top of him, well for his book. We'll be sure to send you an advance copy" she replies as the cat fight begins between the two.

Kate is silently fuming, irrational as it is, but he replaced her in a day, not even a day, and with some big boobed bimbo that he's had sex with. That's not fair her subconscious tells her, Gina is his publisher, and she did call for publishing business. It was unfortunate timing that she had been cuddled on the couch with Remy's takeout with Tom about to get to the next level when the phone killed the mood.

They enter the conference room, Rick still smiling, totally oblivious to the transactions that just occurred between the two women, one marking her territory with the words, "away for the summer", the other trying to rectify a mistake and a lie.

"So, what's up Kate? I don't want to be rude but Gina's right, we do have to leave soon, or we'll be in traffic forever."

"Rick, I had this speech prepared about how I don't let people in and not good at sharing, but Fuck It, I was going to ask you if the invitation was still open, but I can see now that you didn't waste any time replacing me."

"Excuse Me? It wasn't I who flaunted Mr. Detective in my face for the last 6 weeks, totally ignoring the fact that we were partners. Think about it Kate, just do yourself one favor and relive the scenes from the last several cases and tell me the message you would have received had it been you in my place.

What do you think I or any man was supposed to do. I asked you said no, in fact you lied to my face, and when I found out you had plans with Boy Toy, I was supposed to put my life On Hold waiting for you to change your mind?

Is that what you would have done? Since Demming came into your life I don't exist, even as your friend, in fact I have been treated as the nuisance someone you had to put up with because of orders."

"Rick, that's not true, and yo*"

"Not True Kate? Go back in your mind, maybe the words you said didn't even mean enough for you to remember them, but I sure as hell did.

If you're asking about the invitation, I didn't replace you Kate, you're going with Demming and I don't interfere with a woman who is taken. I invited an available women who said yes and didn't see the need to lie to me, so get off your soap box about being replaced. There never was an us, you made damn sure of that every chance you got."

"We're not together anymore, I broke up with him to go away with you." Kate says sadly,

"I'm sorry about that Kate, but I was raised a gentleman, and no matter how badly I would love to say let's go, I won't." Kate's face flushes with panic and sadness,

"I asked Gina, she accepted, and we are going. I placed my life on hold for you for almost two years, to hear what you just said, but the joke is really on me. You break up with your boyfriend to come and tell me now you are ready for me, and we should go?

How pathetic does that make me Kate? Saying the words out loud I can see why the entire precinct thought I was your puppet on a string. If you hurry maybe you can still connect with Tom, I'm sure he would love the weekend with you, it was worth you lying to me, so he had to be good for something." Rick is on a roll now and not holding back.

"Rick, Is Gina your girlfriend now? I mean is this how we are going to be work partners with no chance of ever being anything more?"

Rick laughs, "Do you even hear what you are asking me? I made the comment about Tom being your boyfriend and I was told that's none of your business.

Kate's mind is in flashback mode and she remembers exactly when she said it, the art robbery and homicide case where Demming worked with the team.

 _BECKETT  
I think we should pursue both lines of investigation._

 _CASTLE  
Well, he's your boyfriend._

 _BECKETT  
Excuse me?_

 _CASTLE  
I'm sorry. Am I jumping to conclusions again?_

 _BECKETT  
It's none of your business._

"Well Detective", making sure she is aware that he is using her title now, no longer Kate, or even Beckett, "Its none of your business, and why would you care anyway?"

The participants in the party can not only see, but also hear Rick's booming voice as he is voicing his frustration, finally letting Kate know that no one, no matter how smitten they are with someone will wait forever while being subjected to that type of abuse.

The conversation has not been lost on Gina either, but too her credit, has remained stoic and not celebrated the fact that her ex-husband, is standing up for himself like he did when they were married.

"Rick, I mean is this serious between you and Gina, or do you think*"

"Beckett, while I'm gone, don't expect a call, email or text, regardless of if Gina lasts one day or we fuck each other's brains out the entire summer, "It's none of your business."

"But Rick, I mean I know you're angry but what did I do that was so terrible to make you hate me?"

"I don't hate you Kate, I care deeply for you, but I have had two marriages and countless relationships fail because of a lack of honesty.

 **You lied,** you know you did, and you know why and spare me the crap you didn't want me to feel awkward. When I get back and you can honestly discuss the behavior you exhibited towards me during Demming's time with this department, we can talk."

"Rick, I don't want to wait that long I mean I didn't do anything that bad, please? I said I was sorry for all that and the lie."

"You have got to be kidding me right, that's your first step, go back and look at the hurt you caused, some unintentional, but some instances were just cruel Kate, something I had never witnessed from you. Until you know what you did, how can you even be sincere in an apology?"

Rick turns walks out of the conference room with Kate following sheepishly behind him. He smiles as he sees Gina, she wraps her arm around him, sending a clear message of property lines and boundaries, as he waves to the party in the room, he slips his arm around Gina,

Trying with every ounce of her being to stay silent, she finally utters, "See you in the fall?"

He turns just for a moment, replying "See you in the fall" then smiling turns back to Gina as she watches them enter the elevator all smiles, and hugs.

Her thoughts take over, she did it this time, yesterday she had a boyfriend and Castle on hold, today, no boyfriend, no Castle, and she really didn't believe him when he said see you in the fall, he just wanted out of there, away from her. She didn't know what was worse, the hurt she now knew she caused or the pathetic looks coming from her co-workers, it was going to be a long summer, starting with this weekend.

A/N Please see the forward at the beginning of this chapter. Thanks to all who read, review, favor or follow, your support is the fuel that feeds the energy to keep writing.


	2. Chapter 2

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Thanks for the reviews, and comments, to discuss anything I write, log in, if not don't waste your time with nasty comments.

 **Chapter 2**

 **Previously**

 _Trying with every ounce of her being to stay silent, she finally utters, "See you in the fall?"_

 _He turns just for a moment, replying "See you in the fall" then smiling turns back to Gina as she watches them enter the elevator all smiles, and hugs._

 _Her thoughts take over, she did it this time, yesterday she had a boyfriend and Castle on hold, today, no boyfriend, no Castle, and she really didn't believe him when he said see you in the fall, he just wanted out of there, away from her. She didn't know what was worse, the hurt she now knew she caused or the pathetic looks coming from her co-workers, it was going to be a long summer, starting with this weekend._

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **Immediately after Castle Leaves for Memorial Day Break**

Kate knew that the entire team had witnessed if not heard the entire exchange, and for her to be the one left behind, was a shock, especially after how hard Castle had wooed her. She opted to wave goodbye to the team and make her way home, there was no way she was going to reconnect with Tom, even if she could.

His look told her he was both surprised and crushed with her sudden change of heart, and she could not even provide him with a reason. What was she supposed to say, "I dated you to make Castle jealous, and lied to him about Memorial Day while he knew you were getting the goods?" Had she just used him for Sex, getting her needs satisfied, well as close as that came which wasn't even close, and then move on to the next victim. Another good man hurt by her emotional roller coaster left to feel the pang of rejection.

Castle's words about the hurt she caused and her being cruel haunted her, and made her feel ashamed, had she done that, and if she had WHY? It was a mindless trip home, she couldn't remember even getting there, but as she entered her building, she was greeted by her Doorman,

"Detective Beckett, we have a special delivery that we signed for you, please sign the form and I'll retrieve the envelope for you." Who the hell would be sending her special delivery with a request for delivery verification attached? It had to be important, or no one would pay the extra costs.

"Thank You Robert, I appreciate you saving me a trip to the Post Office for this," she smiles as much as she can.

"You're quite welcome Detective Beckett, we are happy to serve all of our residents in any way we can."

She was still learning the nuisances of the new building, after living with Castle for 5 months while searching for a new place when the deranged suspect blew her old dwelling up, almost ending her life along with the apartment destruction. Castle was the one who figured out the real killer was still at large, called to warn her, then rushed through the burning building to get her out.

Oh God, had it only been 6 weeks since she left the hospitality of the Castle Loft? Alexis, Martha and Rick all had gone out of their way to make her feel welcome and not just a guest, but part of the family. No wonder Rick was hurt, he had opened his home, his family to her, and thinking back he stocked her private bathroom with the same shampoo and conditioner, soap and lotions she used.

The little touches that he had put into making her stay as comfortable as possible, never saying a word, so she repays him by acting like Bitch, no other word for it. The first pretty face that comes along, flirts and she becomes a fucking badge bunny for him because? Because why? Does she even know, to make Castle jealous? Congratulations you don't have to worry about that now, you idiot, you chased him right back into the arms of some other woman.

Why was Castle being with Gina bothering her so much, she had no interest in him as a love interest, everyone knew that, right? Then why did it hurt just thinking about his arm around her as they left the precinct? God was this the way she made Rick feel when he caught a glimpse of her and Tom, now being honest with herself that she timed to make him see, God that hurt, now and the memory of what she did to hurt Rick.

 **Long Island Expressway**

 **1 hour later**

"Rick, you want to talk about it or are we going to just pretend that there's no elephant in the car with us?" Gina asks

"What do you mean Gina?" Rick not willing to show his cards just yet

"Rick, regardless of what you or others may think, I love you, I loved you when we got married, and I still love you, even if I know you won't return it the way I need to feel it."

"Gina, I know you love me, but what does this have to do with the question?" still holding tight to his inner feelings.

"Rick, Women can tell when they have their man all to themselves, and we also know when they are sharing their hearts with another. It's Detective Beckett that has yours now, and I know you are hurting, how can I help?"

"Is it that obvious? I'm so sorry Gina, I'm trying not to let it spoil the summer for us" Rick says sadly

"I know you are, but you and I both know Rick, this won't work, every time we make love I'll wonder if it's me or Kate in your bed in your mind. I never had to worry about that when we were married, I always knew that it was me that turned you on and made your dreams come true."

"So what do we do Gina, I never wanted to hurt you, I'm so sorry this happened, but in my defense, I never thought she would come clean today, that's what we were discussing**"

"Sounded more like the Rick I married than I have heard in a long long time, and you're right when you tell her she has to think what she did, but Hun, Leaving her without hope will only drive her further away."

"Oh God Gina did I do that to you? I mean we had arguments, but what caused us to divorce?"

Gina smiles sadly and replies,

"Rick, you're a father first, a son second, and a husband third, I thought I could crack that first one and become a team as parents, but you held that off for you. I'm not blaming, I'm just explaining that we married with different expectations, and both of us were to stubborn on things that didn't mean a damn now looking back.

It spilled over from work to home then back to work, and I admit, when I was hurt, I wanted to hurt back, maybe a little too much. I'm sorry Rick, I really am.

The divorce was my idea, because I loved you too much to play third string, maybe if we had talked like this instead of through the attorney's there would still be an us, but what's done is done and now I know for sure I have lost you to someone else.

I want to ask you a question, and Rick, PLEASE don't lie to me, you never have, and I don't want you to start now, promise?"

Rick has pulled over to a roadside table, something must have gotten into his eyes a few miles back because they were watering, even though his sunglasses hid his eyes, his tears streaked down his cheeks, Gina reached over and gently wiped them away, then sat back waiting his answer.

"I have never lied to you Gina, well not counting deadlines I fudged, but on EVERYTHING else, I was always truthful, so what's the question?"

"Last night when we made love, was it me, or did you visualize Kate there? I need to know Rick, so please just tell me."

"Gina, it was you, I loved you, and I still love you in some crazy way that we just can't live together, but I never fantasied over anyone else. You are beautiful and always left me completely satisfied, and last night brought back some memories I'll cherish forever."

"Thanks Rick, I think I know which ones you are thinking about and they will be forever in my memory, great memories I am not sorry we made.

Can you give me about 5 minutes there's something I got to do, OK?"

"Sure, we have all weekend and no curfew, so I'll just stretch my legs down by the stream over there."

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Same Day, Same Time**

Kate had finally stopped crying long enough to finally open the mail, she left the Registered Post for last, if it were bad news, she had all she could stand for one day. Finally, with no other choice, she examines the return address, it's a Law Firm she has seen their letterhead before but where? Oh well rip the band-aid off and get the pain over with.

As she begins to pull out the letter, out floats a reimbursement check for her personal possessions from her old apartment. The attorneys were Castle's, that man had his firm negotiate a settlement from her insurance company more than 10 times the initial offer she had originally received.

Her hands shake as she finally reads the figure, over $100,000 dollars, oh God why did she throw him away. She loved him, deep inside she knew she did but WHY, does she almost deliberately fuck things up, he's done nothing but prove his love, to her a raging, messed up cop, who threw away her chance for true happiness.

She reached for her phone almost calling him to thank him, then stops and throws the phone on the bed, he's in Gina's arms now, she had made sure to drive him away. She picks the phone back up just as it rings with a number she has logged but no name associated in her contacts.

"This is Beckett"

"Kate, this is Gina, DON'T hang up please"

A/N Going to leave this here for now, love to hear your guesses as to where I'm going with this? Thanks for the reads, reviews, follows, and favorites. I always loved Monet Mazur and she was the first character that seemed like never had a home. Beautiful lady and made the most of the limited screen time she had,


	3. Chapter 3

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 3**

 **Previously**

 _She reached for her phone almost calling him to thank him, then stops and throws the phone on the bed, he's in Gina's arms now, she had made sure to drive him away. She picks the phone back up just as it rings with a number she has logged but no name associated in her contacts._

" _This is Beckett"_

" _Kate, this is Gina, DON'T hang up please"_

"Gina is everything OK?" her mind immediately going to Rick lying in a hospital bed hurt from an accident or some horrific event.

"Kate, physically everything is fine, but whatever happened between you and Rick today at the Precinct has destroyed any hope I had of ever winning him back.

If you don't know this, and God knows why I have to tell you that my ex-husband is head over heels in love with you and would sacrifice almost anything to make you happy."

"I'm sorry Gina, what did you say" Kate whispers in disbelief

"Kate, unless you have ice water running through your veins or have zero interest in this fine specimen of a man, which I know isn't true, I saw the cold daggers being shot as I put my arm around him, you have to know he's head over heels in love with you.

You really messed it up though, one thing Rick values almost more than anything is honesty, I don't know what lie you told him, but he is being eaten alive by it. I don't know what your problem or worry about him is?

I can tell you this, as a wife you would have zero worries about infidelity, he met and was propositioned by some of the most beautiful women in the world when we were together.

I know I set them up as a test, God forgive me, but never one remark, one touch, one inuendo."

"Gina, it was so stupid, I thought I was attracted to another cop, and lied to Rick about this weekend, I told him I had to work, he found out and called me on it."

"So it was you that was his first choice, just so you know when he invited me, he flat out told me that he had invited someone else and they had made other plans, after he invited them.

He was upfront and honest, even knowing how jealous I was, and still am of him, I wish I had a do over and before today this weekend was going to be it, a chance to reconnect and do things differently."

"I don't understand Gina, why do you say it was going to be," Kate asks

"Kate, after he talked with you and you told him you wanted to go away with him, **NOTHING** else mattered, sure he's a guy with his pride, that will heal in time.

Think of it from my point of view, would you want to be making love with him not knowing if it were you or me he was thinking of? I can almost guarantee the answer to that question and it's not me.

He loves me, I know he does, but not in the same way or depth he loves you and has for a long time. Kate, you messed him up bad, and you need to fix this for both of your sakes."

"Gina, How can I fix it, he walked away with you, I won't see him for a whole summer, he's already told me that he won't email, call or text, so what am I to do, and Why are you so concerned about my happiness.?"

"Kate, you don't get it do you, I love Rick, more than anyone knows, BUT if you make him happy, it hurts, but I'm going to do everything I can do to insure he is happy, even without me.

It sucks big time for me, BUT, I would rather see him happy with you than be faking it with me, living a lie, I love him enough to give him up, Do You?

If you don't, if you can't put him first before anything, I mean anything Kate, forget I called. Think about what I said, if you are willing to put in the work, I'll have a car there in a half hour to bring you out, and they can take me back once you have arrived. The ball is in your court, it's time to take him off hold and go for it or cut him loose."

"Gina, you can't be serious, I mean where the hell are you calling from?"

"I'm as serious as a catastrophic disease, and we are on the LIE about 45 minutes from the house, Rick had to pull over when we were talking about this."

"You are serious, you and Rick discuss he and I and what would make him happy? For Real? "

"Yes Kate, like I said, I love him, more than anyone will ever know, enough to make sure you are entering this knowing you are holding his heart in your hands. Just know that if you ever do what you have done to him again, badge or no badge, there are many people who will want to hurt you, myself included.

If you aren't serious, just send the car away, if you arrive, we'll talk the three of us, I gotta get back to him, he's really upset,

Kate, I'm serious never hurt him like this again, "

 **LIE**

 **25 Minutes Later**

"Rick, I'm so sorry, one call led to another, well you know how it is," as Gina get's back into the passenger side, ever the gentleman, escorted by Rick, who holds her door, and then comes around and gets in.

"Are you OK to drive now, your eyes were all full of pollen before," Gina asks giving him an easy out

"Yeah, it's gone now, must have been tree pollen, well we'll be there soon. We were talking before Gina, and I want to apologize if anything I said hurt you, I never would do that knowingly."

"Where you telling the truth about last night Rick? I just can't take being the object of your fascination with someone else, "

"Gina, I made love to you last night, no one else, and in my mind afterwards, I travelled to every exotic place we visited and made love, so yes I love you. I know it sounds stupid, but she has just got a hold on me I can't break."

"I know Rick, it's OK" as she lays her hand on his leg in assurance as he drives.

"Its not fair to you to come up here with me such a mess, I don't know how long it's going to take me to get over this, but I won't add to the problem by asking you to do something I know you're not comfortable with. If you want to stay you are welcome, but I think I'll take the guest Bed Room Suite, at least for a while, OK?"

Gina leans in and kisses him," I know Rick, but I can't help it either you are to me what she is to you, I love you and I just can't stop, Is that pathetic of me to take what you'll give, just to be near you?"

"I'm sorry Gina, if I could change it I would, you deserve someone who loves you as much as you give love, I love you, you know that but*"

"But not like you love Kate, It's OK Rick, you didn't lead me on, you didn't lie, You didn't treat me like you were treated, if you had, maybe then I could have hated you.

You know all the legal crap, that was the attorney's I didn't want half the stuff they put in there, in fact it's in trust for Alexis. I wasn't going to tell you, but she is getting close to college now, maybe she can forgive me like you have, I know she was hurt badly, and I regret that."

"Gina, Alexis doesn't hate you, she didn't understand why you left, but when we took her to the psychologist and he explained that the problem was between you and I and we both still loved her, she came around. She was sad, because she wanted everyone to be happy, especially after the ordeal with Meredith."

"Do you think I can call her Rick, take her out for a girl's day, to the Spa, or someplace like that?"

"I think she would love that, but please just don't leave the country," he grimaces

Gina spews, "I can't believe that bitch took her to Paris for lunch without asking and didn't see anything wrong with it,"

Rick laughs, "That's the first time I saw you act all protective as a Mom, I thought you were going to deck her"

Gina smiles then says, "Do you remember what happened next Rick?"

Rick frowns in contemplation, "Oh shit, I totally shut you out like I was the only parent she had, Gina, I'm so sorry, I know it's way to late but I am sorry,"

"Well if you get this lie on the table with Kate, don't be the same Ass you were with me, let her earn your trust back Rick, we all screw up from time to time, I think she's scared of commitment, of loss since what you told me about her mother."

The car pulls into the drive and the majestic gates open revealing the Castle Beach House, a mansion by many others but in the Hamptons, it was in the top 10% not the most expensive, but in that range. Rick pulls around to the double garage and the staff come out to help unload the car.

"Rick, just set my luggage to the side for now, I have to dig something out, I can take it into the room when I get settled please."

"You sure Gina, I mean no problem, either way."

"Yeah I'm sure, how about we grab a quick bite, I know I am hungry and unless your car is breaking down I think I heard your stomach growling over third gear Mister" Gina laughs.

Rick has a dejected look on him as he looks at her and smiles,

"What is it Rick? Level with me, No Bull shit"

"I miss this with you, the kidding the loving, all the good times, and I'm just so damned confused, How can I love one woman and be so in love with a woman who does nothing but hurt me, over and over"

"Well if you are looking for Dr. Phil I'm not him, but seriously Rick, I do understand. I'm on the other part of the triangle, and I'm thankful that you never hurt me, knowingly, sometimes we hurt each other, but it wasn't willful.

I can tell you I understand how you hurt when you see her with other men, I feel the same when I see you with other women, I'm jealous even though I don't have any right to be, I still am."

Rick looks at her with an astonished look, "You never picked up on that Love? Why do you think it was I picking your dates that you would escort, I either bribed them or threatened them if they touched you they would be sorry," she laughs with tears in her eyes, "

"Oh Gina, God I'm such an ass, I don't see what is front of me, but I chase something I will never have." Rick holds his head

"Never say never" Gina says as she glances at her watch, if Kate is coming she will be here in the next 10 minutes, if she is a no show, it's no holds barred to get Rick to love her like he does Kate. It's time for her to get him Off Hold once and for all, if she doesn't want him, then he will be smothered in the love Gina has for him,

A/N Again, we are going to stop this. Again, in a MATURE relationship, it is possible to love one and be madly in love with another, it sucks for one of the party's big time, but before someone says that doesn't happen in real life, it does. Thanks for the Reads, Follows, Reviews and Favorites Greatly Appreciated, Tim


	4. Chapter 4

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 _A/N I've had some comments about Gina, liking this version, I really think two people don't stand at an altar, pledge their love, and then plan to fail or hate each other. I hope to take the positive parts of this relationship to help guide Kate in her quest to become someone to love. Another missed opportunity (IMO) of the show,_

 **Chapter 4**

 **Previously**

 _If you don't, if you can't put him first before anything, I mean anything Kate, forget I called. Think about what I said, if you are willing to put in the work, I'll have a car there in a half hour to bring you out, and they can take me back once you have arrived. The ball is in your court, it's time to take him off hold and go for it or cut him loose."_

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Immediately after the call**

Kate is in a state of shock as she sit staring at her phone, still in her hand from her conversation with Gina. Had the ex-wife just cleared the path for her to come out, even sending a car for her, because she loved him enough to step aside? That's stuff you read about in the romance novels or see in the movies, it can't be happening for real or can it?

Real or not, Beckett still is undecided, but opts for the positive and throws her clothes back into her bag she had hidden at the precinct all day, in anticipation of surprising Rick. She checks the drawers and see's the one bikini that was just too much to show for Tom, another stupid thought she now realizes, hell I'm fucking him but he can't see me in a bathing suit, and adds that one to her bag and zips it, just in case this is really happening.

After a few minutes of sitting alone in the dark it dawns on her that she and Rick are not in the same place they were when the invitation was issued. He's angry, angrier than she has ever seen him, and yes hurt, he let it show in his eyes just how sad she had made him. Gina had challenged her to fix him, to fix them for both their sakes.

Fumbling with her phone she calls a friendly voice but receives the voice mail recording.

"Hey Maddie, it's me, you got a second, I really need to talk to you, like now, I'm in a mess and I need your help. Oh yeah, this is Kate," and hangs up.

Less than two minutes later, her phone rings

"Becks, what's up are you and your Dad OK? Do I need to send an ambulance? What happened?" all come rushing out of Maddie with one breath.

"Slow down Maddie, Dad and I are fine physically but I need your help with a matter of the heart."

"You need what Becks?" "You are asking me for help with a love interest?" "Who the hell are you and what did you do with my best friend who lives the mantra, "It's none of your damn business, if I need advice I'll ask for it." What is going on that has got you this upset?"

"I know Maddie, don't make this any tougher please, I have about twenty minutes to decide if I go for what could be the love of my life, or stay in this fortress surrounded by all the walls I built, keeping people, well most people out. I don't know what to do, and I'm afraid I'll make the wrong decision,"

"OK, Kate, I'm here start at the beginning and let me know the jest of the conversation and why it's twenty minutes to make up your mind, OK?"

Kate explains the last few weeks, Demming, how awful she treated Rick, then the breakup with Tom, then Gina showing up at the precinct and finally the call from her.

"Girl, when you fuck up, you do it royally don't you? What the hell where you are thinking, Rick has been head over heels in love with you since forever. I tried my best to sleep with him when he came in, all heart broken when you took up with the Detective, now it all fits.

I couldn't even get him to kiss me, all he wanted to do was talk about you. You're an ASS Kate Beckett, what the hell do you need to even think about. Do you love him, and if you don't why are you wasting my time with this call? Of course, you love him, BUT now how are you going to make him believe it?

Girl you can't just show up and say here I am, it's all better now, that will earn you a trip right back to the city. Think of what you did, then how you can make him know you are truly sorry, I know you Kate, you hate getting down to the details of personal issues, but if you want to save this, do what I tell you."

"Maddie, THANK YOU, the car is here and I'm going for it, wish me luck, and I'll text you later, I'm sorry it's always crisis mode to get me to call, but I'll do better, I promise," as the phone disconnects.

Kate pulls out her tablet to keep her busy on the drive to the Hampton's, not sure what reception or who will be there. She begins by closing her eyes and trying to remember the first time Demming came into the equation, and all the words she had said, or not said to Rick since. Each instance is recorded in rough form, just for her to really reflect how she had hurt him.

 **Hampton's Beach House**

 **Same Time Frame**

Rick is still in shock hearing Gina confess how deeply she still loves him,

"You never picked up on that Love? Why do you think it was I picking your dates that you would escort, I either bribed them or threatened them if they touched you they would be sorry," she laughs with tears in her eyes, "

"Gina, I'm sorry, I would never do anything to hurt you, I hope you know that, when we were together, even before we got married, I cut off all other relationships. Old fashioned I know, but I fell for you, I really did."

"Rick, I know you were faithful, I hate to admit it, but I set up some of those adventures with those exotic women, just to see if you really loved me. I guess I'm the one with insecurities, I mean who the hell does that, especially a wife?"

"You set those up? I thought it was Paula trying to get back at me for not sleeping with her again. I did tell you the one ti*"

"Yes Rick, you confessed all your sins, and believe me that is one I don't care to ever hear again, of all the women, she and Kate are the ones that hurt me the most."

"Kate? I haven't even kissed her how could she hurt you Gina?"

"Because she's the one you dream of every night, think about every morning when you wake up, the first person you want to share good news with, and the person who you would do anything to take her hurt away, even if it kills you.

Just like you used to do with me, but I killed it, I called it smothering but now you'll never know how many times I wish I was back there, in your safe arms just holding me. I know it's too late, and so do you, your heart wants someone else."

Rick holds his head down, totally busted because he can't argue with a single word, Gina said, it was true, every word of it. Gina walks over and sits on the arm of the chair Rick is in, puts her arm over his shoulder pulls him towards her and gently kisses his temple.

"I wish it weren't true, Rick, you'll never know just how much, but I blew my chance. Don't blow yours with Kate by being a stubborn prideful ass, that's not you and never was."

That confession and challenge brought a tear to Rick's eye. "Gina, there's a beautiful moon out tonight, want to take a walk on the beach, if for nothing else, old times sake? I promise I will be a gentleman."

Gina dabs at her eyes, "Yeah Rick, I would like that very much, and I've missed this too, the talks the love, even if I'm not your number one, I still know I own part of your heart."

They head down to the beach, two people who love each other, one with an aching heart for the other, one with his heart miles away.

 **Long Island Expressway**

 **55 Minutes after leaving Kate's Apartment**

Kate has just completed everything she could think of, she would need to have a real conversation with Rick, if he had heard more, or interpreted something as hurtful, she needed to be sure to get it out of him, Complete Disclosure.

It started as the flirtation in the gym, offering to hold her bag while she worked out, progressed to an old friend of Javi's and then the new Detective from robbery joined her on the "weird one" where money was left but the safe deposit boxes and murder occurred.

God, was she that big of a flirt to him as she thinks back, the remark that sticks though is when Castle asks what he could do, she teased, " _ **You can watch**_ ", God what an awful thing to say to your partner. Then she followed with the " _ **Watch and learn"**_ comment, later in the conversation in front of Tom, trying to impress? Kate what the hell were you thinking?

Then she remembers the interrogation, and Tom asked her if she wanted a hot dog as they walked outside, she had no clue that Castle was even around, what a mess she has made, for what? No wonder he felt like he did, she treated him like shit when she acknowledged his presence, but worse, she only had eyes for Tom and he was right, she had obliterated him from her mind.

The lie continued as she tried to pass off that Tom and she were merely sharing a cab, when it was obvious that she shared much more, using her words to Castle, Lose the just got laid look Kate, oh how that must have hurt him. What was it that hurt more, being with someone else or was it her deceitful ways to try to hide it.

After everything this man has done for her, and she just blocks him out of her mind, a memory of her being treated similarly in high school floods back and she actually begins to cry, knowing the hurt she felt, and now has caused. Rick was correct, she mouthed the words I'm sorry seldom, but even then, she had no clue or desire to find out what she had done to wrong the other, it was just something to say to move on.

She's reduced to a full fledged cry now, for herself for being stupid, and for hurting others, especially Rick. All he had EVER done was try to make her life better in any way he could, and could she blame him for Ellie Monroe, hell she treated him worse than the criminals she dealt with. If she had been him she would have fucked someone and thrown it square in his face, oh wait, that's what she did as the tears flowed harder now. God how can he ever forgive her, ******************

 **Hampton's** **Beach House**

 **45 minutes after Rick and Gina take their beach walk**

Gina is very quiet, just holding Rick's arm as they walk together finally heading up the path towards the private beach that belongs to the house.

"You're quiet Gina, I know I have hurt you, is there anything I can do to make it up to you? You know I could never stand to see you cry."

"Can you kiss me one more time like you mean it Rick then just hold me, this has to last me a lifetime, so I don't want to cut it short,"

Rick takes her into his arms, and kisses her, reminiscent of the days when they were both in love with each other and the outside world didn't exist. She gently moans as she releases control of her tongue to him, granting him entrance, to her mouth, she knew what he loved, and poured it all into this kiss.

The kiss was a sweet, passionate, expression of two people who did care about the other, but let life get in the way. They stood embraced with each rubbing the each other's backs gently for what seemed a life time. Lights from far down Rick's drive illuminated the beach front, a few yard from them, but close enough to bring them back to reality.

"Who the hell is coming out at this hour" Rick says skeptically as Gina continues to hold his arm and he her hand as they stroll towards the drive.

When they get closer they see the gates open and the town car pull towards the garage. "God Damn it Mother, I told you I wanted privacy," Rick mutters half under his breath

Then the car doors open and out steps, not his mother but the last person Rick expected to see, Kate Beckett.

"Detective what are you doing here?" Rick asks with ice in his voice,

Gina, pulls his arm slightly, "She's here because I sent for her, I love you too much to see you throw your chance at happiness away Rick, I did it with you, but I'll be damned if I see you destroy yourself over pride."

"Kate, I know it took a lot of courage to come, and I just want to talk to you both for a few minutes while the driver takes a break. He can take me back to the city, or if you are still acting like the bitch you were, mistreating Rick, it will be you on your way back.

If that happens I promise you, I will never let you come near his heart again. I threw his love away once, given a second chance I won't let it happen again."

Kate hangs her head, not knowing exactly what to say, till Rick takes the lead.

"Shall we talk, I know Gina, and she is not going anywhere till she knows I am OK,"

Gina steps away toward the house and Kate and Rick turn around and head towards the beach where Rick had just come from.

Kate thinks this is it, I'm down to my last shot, no more do overs, Gina is sincere, and she will take him away, so here goes

"Rick can we talk, but first I am not going to say I'm sorry, I want you to know that I know what I think I did to hurt you but you have to promise me to tell me everything even things you know that will hurt, do you promise that? Please? Then when I know WHAT I did for sure, I will ask for your forgiveness."

The walk and talk starts,

A/N We are going to let them talk for a few minutes, Thanks for all of the reviews, reads, follows, and favorites. You are the reason we do this, so if you are enjoying let me know, Greatly Appreciated, Tim


	5. Chapter 5

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 5**

 **Previously**

 _"Detective what are you doing here?" Rick asks with ice in his voice,_

 _Gina, pulls his arm slightly, "She's here because I sent for her, I love you too much to see you throw your chance at happiness away Rick, I did it with you, but I'll be damned if I see you destroy yourself over pride."_

 _"Kate, I know it took a lot of courage to come, and I just want to talk to you both for a few minutes while the driver takes a break. He can take me back to the city, or if you are still acting like the bitch you were, mistreating Rick, it will be you on your way back._

The walk on the beach begins very awkward, Kate stumbling over words till finally Rick stops and turns to her,

"Kate, just once for God's Sake say what you are thinking, I am so fucking tired of trying to figure out the subtext and subliminal messages. I don't want, make that I won't tolerate that kind of friendship or whatever the hell you are looking for."

Kate then lays it out, all the times she can remember when she made him feel inferior or unimportant, and the times she hurt him by lying. The lies were the hardest to tell, and she could tell that Rick was impacted by them more than the deliberate actions for him to see her and Tom kissing, that was a payback for his page 6 endeavors she reasoned.

"Do you even know what really happened for all those shots you saw on page 6 with the beautiful starlets, on each arm? Did you ever take the time to ask me, who they were, or did I have relations with them? Why do you think Meredith and I divorced, what page six printed?"

She could tell this conversation was not going the way she had planned, and she surely had hit a nerve, but she wasn't sure what it was?

"Rick, I have pissed you off, hurt you or both, but I don't know what I did, can you please tell me?"

By now they had reversed course and had reached the Beach House ending the walk on the shore, and Rick was washing his feet off in the pool poodle, ready to enter the house. Kate knew this was going badly, very badly, but she had no recourse to follow him into the house.

Gina was completing packing up some of her materials she had had in the car for the trip up, and the driver was taking two hours to relax in the cottage room, before driving back.

"Well, I can tell by the looks on your faces that you are pissed off Rick, and Kate, you are trying to figure out what the hell you did.

First question goes to you Kate, did you ASK Rick a direct question or just assume something, because from this vantage point he has that the press sucks look on his face?"

"I thought I asked a direct question bu***"

"When and What did you ask Kate? You are like all the rest you read something in the paper and yeah that's Castle can't keep it in his pants, he cheated on every spouse."

"Rick I'm sor*"

" **SAVE IT KATE,"** holding his hand up in the stop talking motion, as he storms into his office, and slams the door.

Gina is quietly looking at the floor, waiting Kate out, if she wants her help she will give it, but Damn it she is not going to open the doors to the man she still loves by offering anything.

"Gina, do you know anything you can or will share with me, I keep fucking things up. I do love him, you have to believe me and the last thing in the world I want to do is hurt him.

Maybe he'd be better off with you, I mean you know what makes him happy and I just keep hurting him, no matter what I do."

"OK Kate, get off the pity party for yourself, you are the one who is _ASKING_ for forgiveness, and if it's not worth the work, like I told you, we can send your Ass back the same way you came."

That seems to wake Kate up, like a cold glass of water thrown into her face followed by a hard slap.

"You're right Gina, and I would appreciate your help, you must love him as much as I do in order for you to help anyone trying to replace you."

"Kate, stop, there are no replacements, I didn't replace Meredith, nor can you ever replace me, we will each own a part of that huge heart as long as it beats. You're right, I do love him enough to make sure he's happy, and it seems like you need a basic course in facts.

 **Fact One.** I chose his dates he appeared with in the paper on page 6 and threatened them with bodily harm if they so much as deviated from the script we had worked out, all PR Kate.

 **Fact Two** , Whatever reason you have in your head why Rick and Meredith divorced, I bet you don't know that Rick took the hit to protect Alexis, Meredith cheated on him when his daughter was still in the crib, 3 or 4 months old. He said it was better than she thought her dad to be a playboy than her mother a slut."

" **Fact three** , "Why do you think Rick and I got divorced, I have heard tons of reasons but I would love to hear yours before I give you the truth, right from the plaintiff's mouth"

Kate is thrown for a loop here is Gina asking her why she thinks Rick and her divorced, something that Kate would never have even thought to divulge.

"Come on Kate, do some work, why do you think it happened?" Gina chides

" Well from what I can tell or have heard he liked to party, and you two didn't agree on the creative side of the business"

Kate can barely finish her sentence when Gina erupts with a roar of laughter,

"Rick had to be forced to go to those parties, again with dates I selected and made sure they would not come on to him, he was as faithful as he could be, and takes his relationships very seriously."

"The creative side of the business didn't enter into the picture until we were already divorced and I needed something, anything to hang on to a part of him, so no that wasn't a reason, and you didn't catch the word Plaintiff did you?"

"Yeah, I divorced Rick, not the other way around and no infidelity was not the reason as was reported on TMZ. I was third on his list of priorities, first a Dad, second a Son, especially after Martha was taken for everything.

He became her guardian, that left me third in priority, and I tried to take the part I could get but got greedy. I wanted to be a Mom but went about it the wrong way and tried to power my way in, one thing never do Kate, never put yourself against Alexis, you will lose every day of the year."

"From the look on your face this is all news to you which tells me you didn't do shit to figure out where you went wrong. What did you think was going to happen, you show up, and everything is all better because Super Cop is here?"

"I bet you never approached one of your cases with as much false information as you were so willing to swallow without question from a man you WATCHED for five Fucking months in his home.

IF that didn't tell you anything I don't know what help I can give you Detective. Yeah, I was so jealous of you I could have screamed, knowing how much he loved you, and me having to stand by and watch you hurt him time after time."

"I know Rick, and now is not the time for you to try to make this up, you need to do the work, not just assume that love conquers all. You hurt a very sensitive man very badly, that's not something he will get over in a day.

You need to come up with a plan on how you are going to get better with him to support him and own your sins. Not everything can be blamed it on your teen years, and the tragedy that struck your family.

I think it's best if the driver take you back to the city, you have my number when you have something to prove to me that you are working on it Kate. If you think Rick will give you a different answer, I would think again.

Just a tip if you haven't figured it out yet, he does not react well to pressure trying to force him to do something, have a safe trip home Kate, Good Night", as the driver comes in and opens the exit door for her.

She is escorted to the limo she just arrived in with such high hopes, and now is leaving in tears wondering what is next. One thing is for sure, she knows she loves Rick, and she will do anything to get him back. She also can't hate Gina, if anything she is thankful that Rick has her now, he is going to need someone strong to lean on for a while till she can get her shit together.

As the car pulls out of the driveway with a weeping Kate Beckett, wondering what the future is to bring, Rick slips out of his office and takes Gina in his arms into a deep hug.

"I had forgotten how defensive you are of me, Thank You, I couldn't deal with the BS tonight"

Gina looks up into his eyes, and there is a spark of the old Rick there, "You aren't angry that I brought her up here?"

"How can I be, you are willing to step aside to insure I am happy, I don't know what to say, but Thank You, I'm still not sure how this is going to play out with Kate, but she has a lot of work to do, I'm not sure she is in it for the long haul."

"Rick, can we do something Sweetie?"

"What would you like to do, I bet I know already, and yes the pool is hot enough."

"But I didn't bring a suit, Rick, you sure you won't mind?"

Did I mind a few nights ago, and no IF we make love it will be Rick and Gina, no one else I promise you, let's let things take their course and not force anything, OK?"

Gina has fought it all day and night, but she can't any longer. She pulls him down as she looks deep into his eyes, "you don't have to say it, it's OK Rick, but never forget I love you with all of my heart, and I will do Anything to make you happy", then engulfs him in a kiss, Rick hasn't experienced since their honeymoon days.

Rick responds with his version of their honeymoon kiss, this woman is beautiful, and she was his wife, my God, she is so hot.

"Rick screw the pool just take me to bed, I want you more than ever, and please just be sure it's me that you're making love to."

Rick picks her up bridal style and does a trick they did together on their honeymoon to insure Gina, it is indeed it is indeed her he is with, mind, body and spirit no one else, several times that night.

A/N We're leaving it here for now, Comments, follows, review, and favorites always appreciated,


	6. Chapter 6

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 6**

 **Previously**

" _From the look on your face this is all news to you which tells me you didn't do shit to figure out where you went wrong. What did you think was going to happen, you show up, and everything is all better because Super Cop is here?"_

" _I bet you never approached one of your cases with as much false information as you were so willing to swallow without question from a man you WATCHED for five Fucking months in his home._

 **Saturday 1:30 AM**

 **Beckett's Apartment**

Kate had just stumbled into her apartment, shucking her bag at the door, grabbing the wine bottle, a glass, and headed for the couch. How many turns had this day taken, from the very low, or so she thought at the time, watching Gina wrap Rick in a hug and leave the precinct with a smile on their faces.

She had been granted a huge reprieve when Gina called and arranged to have the car service take her to see Rick. She was supposed to make things right, well, fine job there Kate, you got bounced out on your ass, and now have to go through his ex-wife to even get a chance to try to make amends with Rick.

Her tears fell as she thought of the look on his face, as he held his hand up to her to shut her up, she had never seen such a cold glare like that ever before. Her Rick, the laughing little boyish man who took pleasure at the smallest things in life, was gone, and it was her fault.

What did she do? God was she that stupid that she is missing the obvious. She begins to replay the time with Rick in her head when her phone chirps with new text notification. At this point of the long holiday weekend she would welcome a body drop, at least she would be busy. Grabbing her phone, she opens a text from Maddie,

 _Just closing up, if you are in the Hamptons ignore this, if you are home text me back, Maddie_

She really wasn't in the mood, but Maddie had taken time for her earlier. She quickly typed out

" _At home it was a disaster. Kb"_

The response came almost immediately,

" _Be there in 25 minutes, don't do anything stupid Becks, Maddie"_

Oh Great, she thinks now I have to relive the whole night all over again, but as the thoughts are flashing through her brain, something Gina said stuck out, about her approach to a case, and verifying information. Kate grabs the portable murder board she has stashed behind the couch, and begins to layout the time lime, with key incidents noted.

A quiet knock on the door, and there stands Maddie, with a bottle of wine, and one flower.

"Becks, I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to say, but we'll get him back wait and see."

"Maddie that's sweet but I'm not so sure after tonight, I think I turned anger into true hate. You know that old saying about love being a double edge sword, one side love, one side hate, well I think I managed to kill the love and polish the hell out of the hate side."

"Becks, I think you are exaggerating, I saw how Rick looked at you, and hell, I'm not a wall flower and don't give the garden away to just any landscaper, but he flatly turned me down, with,

"Maddie, you are beautiful, but you're Kate's friend, so there is never going to be a time when it would be OK to hurt her by being with you. God help me for saying this, last year we would be calling for more ice, but things change, and I could never hurt Kate,"

"Now that doesn't sound like a man who hates you does it?"

"Maybe not back then, but after tonight, I'm not so sure."

Maddie notices the murder board out, and as Kate describes what she planned to do, she was all for it,

"You know I could be the fact checker, just to be sure the information flows, and there are no gaps, Make Sense?"

"Sure Maddie, but it's late, I'm sure you are tired."

"Are you going to sleep Kate? Didn't think so, besides I am used to being up till 4:30 or 5:00 AM. Let's do this"

 **Hampton's Beach House**

 **Saturday 3:00 AM**

Gina is lying on her back trying to catch her breath, again, after another session with the love machine next to her. Rick pulls her gently half on top of him and has his arm securely around her as she lays her head on his chest, gently making little circles on her arm to relax her.

"Well, was it like when we were married Gina?"

"Honestly, Rick? **NO,** " Rick's smiles fades and concern fills his face, "It was ten time better, I didn't think I was going to be able to breathe, talk about taking a girl's breath away, Sweetie, that was the best I have ever had, you changed something Rick, What?" she smiles at him.

"You really want to know?"

"Of course, I do, my God, you see me here trying to catch my breath, body trembling all from the good things you provided"

"I remembered our Wedding Day and how beautiful you looked, how hard you tried to surprise me for my bachelor party, and just how wonderful our marriage really was in the beginning. I saw a beautiful bride, my wife, that I made love to, worshiped her body and did my best to please her. We made Love, we didn't have sex, and that's the difference."

Gina's tears are flowing freely now as she raises her head just enough to pull him into a deep and passionate kiss, "Don't say it Rick, you don't have to, but I do, I am still in love with you and I will be till I die, I love you,"

"Rick, I was a fool to try to change you, I fell in love with the you that you had always been, and it was me that changed. I can see that now, but I know you love her, and I want you to know that I am and will be here, taking anything, you give me.

Hopefully, I can win your love back again, but if not, if this is all I get, I'm OK with it, you're not using me, OK? The only thing I ask is PLEASE never think of her when you make love to me, that's one thing I couldn't take, it would kill me."

Rick looks into the pleading eyes of Gina, sees the love for him, and wonders how the hell did I let this go so bad,

"Gina, I promise you, this bed, any bed we share is just us, no one else, in my mind or thought. You are gorgeous, more beautiful than I remembered, and you have worked so hard just to make me happy, how can I not love you.

Please just let this settle for a few days, we'll see where it goes, but I promise, I will NEVER lie to you, I swear." It's Rick who initiates the kiss this time, so sweet, deep and passionately, treating her like she is a precious and fragile doll, requiring special handling.

They hold each other, neither saying a word until Gina hears the faint breathing pattern of Rick, asleep still holding her like he truly cared. Kate Beckett, you have a fight on your hands if you want this man, after how badly you hurt him. I won't allow it again, she thinks as she listens to his breathing, and places his arm around herself in a favorite spot he always loved, her nipples growing taunt as they always did upon his touch. She gently kisses his chest, whispering "Good Night Rick, I love you, I'll always love you", then fades into a peaceful sleep herself.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **2:10 AM**

The murder board has been constructed with Kate's usual precision, except rather than a person as a victim, " **Rick's Love** " inside a heart has been drawn, to represent the deceased. The timeline has been drawn and as Kate and Maddie start their discussion,

"Start at the beginning Becks, how did you meet him, then in a circle write what you felt, not what you showed others but what you felt deep inside your heart." Maddie challenges.

"I guess it started at the book signing, when I wen*"

"Becks, be honest, you had the hots for Rick far longer than that, tell me you didn't get reprimanded for taking too long a lunch as you stood in line for over two hours for him to sign a book when you were just a Rookie cop? It's just us Kate, be honest, let your heart open once in your life." Maddie interrupts.

Kate looks uncomfortable but adjusts the timeline and starts marking key dates down, the day she met Rick at the signing, the day she had to bring him in for questioning, their first case, the first coffee he brought her (She still has the lid marked Castle on it) when she yelled at him not to have her associated with his name, Boy what a Bitch she thinks, and them progressed down the events.

Maddie prodded her for additional details, and in some cases just called Bull Shit and made her record the truth.

"Kate, either you are serious about this or you're not, if not I have things I can be doing, including sleeping, so make up your mind. No more lies, When the hell did that start anyway? You were never dishonest before, what the Hell happened to you?"

"I don't know Maddie, I think when Mom was murdered, I kept getting the same questions over and over, so I just started telling people what I wanted them to know. It's not an excuse, especially when it bleeds over to my friends, and even worse those I love."

"Kate, has Rick EVER lied to you, been deceitful or tried to hide anything from you?"

"No of course not, why would he? I mean we're friends, well I want to be more than friends but I'm not sure about him now." Kate cries

"How would you feel if he had been seeing Gina on the side, getting the goods as you say, not even acknowledging that you were alive, you should know how that would you feel because that's what you and Demming did to him? What if he had brought her home and fucked her brains out while you were staying there, for you to hear every moan every or**"

"ENOUGH Maddie, I get the picture. I know what I did to Rick was inexcusable, but why won't he forgive me? I mean I have forgiven him of inter**"

"Oh you mean you have forgiven him of spending $100,000 of his own money, getting a gun stuck in his ribs, and finally seeing you shoot the man who killed your Mom that you would have never found had he not, as you call it interfered?

Didn't he even come down to the precinct with a lunch for you the next day and offer to walk away since HE took responsibility for you killing the scum who killed your Mom?

Now you say you forgave him and that makes it all even for what you did as compared to what he did for a friend, and I haven't even got to where you lived for 5 months after your apartment was blown to bits?" Maddie is angry, Kate has never seen her friend like this.

"Maddie why are you so upset, I mean you are angry with me, but what did I do to you?"

"Kate, it's not every day a rich, handsome successful Eligible man who loves his family and seemingly can't do enough for others walks into your life. You stand there even after everything that has happened today, trying to blame others or excuse your actions.

It's no wonder you have turned to lying, you can't even tell yourself the truth. You have no idea of just how bad you scarred him for any other woman who would love him without a second thought.

What the Hell do you want in your life, or better yet When are you going to get past the age of 19 Kate? I'm your friend, I love you, but at this very instance I am so pissed off, and disappointed in you I could spit fire." Maddie grabs her coat and slams the door behind her as she walks out.

Kate crumples to the couch, in tears, trying to figure out, what the hell had happened in the last 24 hours, it seems like everyone she ever had in her life were pissed off at her so much they chose to leave. As her mind replays the days events over and over, the wine thankfully kicks in and a fitful sleep falls upon her.

A/N Again, leaving this here for now. Love to hear your thoughts ideas, one theme I am trying to get Kate past the Death of Johanna Beckett. There is some angst, true, but such is life, think you will like were we end up at. A mother's death would impact any daughter, but I think the writers used that as a crutch rather than develop the tough relationship points that are real life. Thanks for all of the Follows, Reads, Favorites and Reviews, Much Appreciated, Tim


	7. Chapter 7

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 7**

 **Previously**

 _It's no wonder you have turned to lying, you can't even tell yourself the truth. You have no idea of just how bad you scarred him for any other woman who would love him without a thought._

 _What the Hell do you want in your life, or better yet When are you going to get past the age of 19 Kate? I'm your friend, I love you, but at this very instance I am so pissed off, and disappointed in you I could spit fire." Maddie grabs her coat and slams the door behind her as she walks out._

 **Hamptons Beach House**

 **Saturday 7:30 AM**

Gina has been awake for almost an hour, and quietly made coffee, and slipped onto the upstairs deck as she watched the sun rise over the water. Her mind is flooded with so many memories, the day they met, not as his publisher but as a friend that few people knew of, the first time she came here, the first time they made love, the quiet times they just stole away for a weekend when the world got to heavy for either of them.

 **Flashback College- Gina Sophomore Year**

 _Not many were aware that Gina had been an emotional wreck when she first met Rick, she had just lost her mother to a catastrophic illness during her sophomore year of college and then a long-time relationship with her high school sweetheart had dissolved, a victim of her dedication to her mother's final days._

 _Rick was so patient and loving with her, having recently losing his college sweetheart, Kyra Blaine so he was so comforting, without being pushy or threatening. They were best friends for over a year till he graduated, and she eventually lost touch._

 _Then came that fateful day when she became the editor for the hot new writer Rick Castle, never knowing it was the same Rick Rogers she had grown so close to in college, and the friendship was re-kindled once again. This time it wasn't a College Sweetheart she had to nurse him through, it was his first wife who left him three years earlier for a director along with their 3-month-old daughter. They both fought the attraction but after almost four years, it was useless, and they married the following spring._

Gina is jolted back to current day when she feels his arm slip gently around her, just like he knew what she was thinking. He had slipped out of bed and just knew what she needed, as he always had.

"You still miss her, I know, but you've come so far since the day we met" Rick smiles

"Yeah, thanks to you, I don't know what I would have done, without you there constantly to lean on, I know I was a mess, first with Mom and all she had to go through, then with Chris, collapsing on me and leaving, I almost did lose it."

"You lost the two people you loved more than anything on this earth, you were entitled to be off your game." Rick says quietly

"With Mom, I knew there was a day coming no matter what I did that she would be gone, but Chris, we had been a couple since 9th grade, there had never been anyone else, I thought there never would be," she says quietly as the tears pool in her eyes

"I know he hurt you badly Gina, and I am sorry that you had to feel that heart ache, I would have made it go away if I could, you know that, right?"

"Rick, your heart was bleeding just as bad if not worse, than mine, you had to watch Kyra leave, at least Chris left me a letter, and I didn't have to see him actually walk away for the last time. Then years later you have to solve a crime at her wedding, my God Rick, how hard that had to be," she smiles at him through tears coming slowly out of her beautiful eyes.

"I never told you Gina, but I was always jealous of Chris, I only saw him once, but I know you still have your forever box from him." Gina blushes but it's true, movie tickets torn in half, old faded pictures, his class ring, and silly mementos are all packed away safely as if he just left yesterday.

"I loved you Rick, sure, Chris is my first love and I can never change that, but when I met you, well when we were reunited, I knew that it was more than just comfort you provided me back then, I'm just sorry I didn't recognize it then."

"Gina, you coming off your loss and let's face it Kyra owned my heart, even when I married Meredith, that's awful to say now, but I really didn't get over her till you and I were married, the timing wasn't right." Rick says quietly as he slips behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her gently into him.

Rick was always there with his arms open for her, her comfort zone no matter what the problem was. How could she have messed this up? As a tear trickles down her cheek, she feels him there, to kiss away her tears, and hold her, like only he could do.

"How do you do that Rick, know what I need the moment I need it and just appear?" She asks through her tears.

"I woke to cold sheets, I knew you would be out here, remember when we were married what you called this?" Rick smiles

"Patio of Peace" they repeat together,

"You always came here when I made you angry, or hurt you, and looking back now I can see I did so many times I was just an ass, Gina, I am so sorry I would take it all back if I could."

Gina looks up to him through eyes full of tears, smiles sadly, "I know you would Rick, I caused just as many of those arguments as you did, through it all, I never stopped loving you for a minute."

Rick looked at her in surprise, and Gina picked up on it right away,

"You're wondering about why I kept pushing knowing that I was on your last nerve aren't you? Rick, I wanted to be part of your life so desperately I made the mistake of pushing, now I know all I needed to do was ask and you would have given me the moon."

"I listened to someone about how to make you want me more, to be assertive and take what I thought I deserved. Then I was too fucking stupid to tell you about my pathetic scheme, and it mushroomed from there.

"If there was one day of our marriage I would do over, it would be that day, where I know I put the first dent in the armor you had us protected from the world in, all the precautions, all of the steps you took to keep the world outside, and I blew it. Rick, I'm so sorry." Gina is crying harder now as Rick tries to console her.

Rick lifts her face gently, looking deep into her eyes, he gently wipes away the tear from one eye, then the other, then gently kisses each. She can't help it, she pulls his face in for a sweet passionate kiss, trying to say I'm sorry, Thank You, I want You, and Don't ever Leave me with one physical gesture. She is surprised when he actually takes control and deepens the kiss, not the hot get in the bed now, but sweetly and passionately, saying I love you too with just a kiss.

"Gina, please don't take this the wrong way, but I have to ask," Rick pauses as Gina tenses,

"When we were married you used to love to walk on the beach at this time, do you still want to, with this big Ass who was so stupid and insensitive then. I remember all the days I let you do it by yourself. That was wrong, that was the US time you were asking for and I was too selfish to realize it, so I am sorry, so sorry."

"Richard Castle, I should kill you," Gina is trying to laugh through her tears, "You scared me to death, and yes I would love to have your arm as we walk, if you still want to."

Rick walks over, dries Gina's tears, and grabs each a bottle of water from the fridge, "Shall we?" He bows to her and they begin another beautiful morning walk, stopping to pick up shells, and from time to time, for a kiss, there were a lot of great memories in the marriage, many of them made on this very beach.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Saturday 5:15 AM**

Kate is still tossing and turning after Maddie had stormed out last evening, well earlier this morning technically, her words still rang in her ears, haunting her, especially the comment _"What the Hell do you want in your life, or better yet When are you going to get past the age of 19 Kate?"_

She hadn't used her Mom's tragic death to justify her crappy behavior, or had she? She hadn't had a steady relationship to speak of since her freshman year of college, when she caught her boyfriend with her best friend, she had forgiven Maddie, but Bob was gone, never to be seen again.

Maybe it was Maddie's blatant confession of wanting to sleep with Rick, that had her upset, but why, she wasn't with him, so why should she care? If she were a true friend, she would wish Maddie the best, since she knew what a terrific catch Rick would be, Wait, what did she just think?

Thinking back, she wasn't this upset even when she had caught Maddie with her boyfriend Bob in college, why did the thought of her with Castle drive her up a wall? Could it be that she had been trying to hide her feelings to keep from getting hurt, blaming the case or anything else to keep an arm's distance from Rick and a chance at happiness.

One thing had come out of this mess, she now knew that if she were to ever have any hope of any kind of relationship with Rick, friend or other, she HAD to stop the lies that just seemed to sneak out. Maddie was right they had started after she lost her Mom, rather than face confrontation, it was easier to lie and then hope for the best.

Just as she is about to get a cup of coffee, her phone chirps with a text,

" _Becks, I'm sorry, I was rough on you but we need to talk if you want Rick back, and Please stop the lies, they hurt all of us who love you, text me if you can talk or forgive me, again I'm sorry, but I do care for you like a Sister"_

Kate thinks for a moment contemplating ignoring her request, then thinks that's exactly the kind of behavior that has gotten you in this mess. Grabbing her phone, she replies,

" _Maddie, I understand, give me an hour to shower and throw on some clothes, then maybe we could grab a coffee, see you in an hour, Oh, I love you like a sister too, Kb_

After a quick shower and blow dry of her hair, God her eyes had such bags under them, slap some concealer on, and there was the knock on the door.

"Hey Becks, I'm sorry, I just want to help you and I can't do it when you aren't truthful with yourself first and all others next. I spent 3 years in therapy learning that."

"I'm sorry Maddie, when were you in therapy? You were always so happy in school, got all the guys, what the heck would you need to see a shrink about?"

"Remember when you caught Bobby and I under the bleachers, he was cheating on you and I was supposed to be your friend, and*"  
"Yeah Maddie, I don't need a refresher of you taking my boyfriend away or the details, I was so hurt at you, it took a long while to forgive you."

"That's my point Becks, you were hurt, it took time, BUT you forgave me, why?"

"Because you owned up to how long it was going on and just what a cheating scum bag he was, he lied, OH My GOD" as the words fall out of her mouth, she finally realizes that Rick's reaction to her lie, was eerily similar to the one she had in college.

"Becks, you kicked his ass to the curb, and never gave him the opportunity to explain, Why? And Why would you let me back into your life after hurting you so? You never asked me the question I had hoped you would all those years ago."

"Maddie you were my best friend, I was deeply hurt that you would betray me, but he wasn't worth losing our friendship over. What question should I have asked?"

"The most obvious one, "WHY", you asked him over and over again, but you never asked me, why don't you ask me now."

"OK Maddie, not sure where you are going with this but WHY would you cheat with Bob, knowing he was my boyfriend?"

"Because I wanted you to catch him in the act with me, he was cheating with Maria, and Gayle as well, but if I told you, you would defend him, and he would deny it and eventually you would get hurt even more.

I'm sorry Becks, I tried to tell you, but you sentenced me to 5 months of no communication. I waited for you to understand that I would rather lose your friendship than see you the laughing stock on the campus. I made it so easy for you to find us, it was a setup.

Think now Kate, what hurt more, his infidelity or all the lies he told trying to cover it?"

"God, you're right Maddie, I would have forgiven him if it was one time, hell every guy wanted to sleep with you, but the lies, one after the other just destroyed any hope."

"What do you think Rick felt, especially after his divorce from Meredith because of lies and cheating on her part?"

"Wow, I see what you mean, wait, how do you know that Meredith cheated on him, and lied was the reason that caused his divorce?"

"I asked him Becks, I wanted him so badly, and you were busy with the Dete**"

"OK, OK, I see but I still can't figure out why he turned you down," Kate doesn't want to hear about all the things her best friend wanted to do to the man she loved.

"Becks one simple reason, I wasn't you, as he said the heart wants what the heart wants. My therapist said that's why I'm attracted to so many different guys, I don't want to face the fact that I'm early 30's and still missing what I wanted all my life, a husband and kids. I know shocker, uh, Maddie wanting kids," as tears come to her eyes.

"I dated the last guy for almost 4 years, the moment kids were brought up we were history within the month, guess I'll just have to live with what I have."

"So, you wanted Rick because he had a kid, was kind, good looking, and could make your ideal life come true, but what about love Maddie, where does that fit in?"

"Becks, who couldn't learn to love him, come on, get real. Right now, we have to go back over all this murder board and come up with some way to explain to Rick, WHY things happened.

Kate, I need your vow, No More Lies, one more I swear and I am out of here, I love you but I can't take them, it's no wonder you chased him away."

 **Hampton's Beach House**

 **Saturday 6:00 PM**

After spending the entire day strolling on the beach, playing in the pool, well some playing, then taking a nap together and doing whatever came naturally both were starving. Rick had called for reservations at the Club House and was totally relaxed holding Gina's hand to and from the car.

"Good Evening Mr. Castle, Ms. Cowell, it's so good to see you again, the manager of the restaurant greeted them. I have your private table in the back sir, I hope that is satisfactory."

Gina, not known to be the most pleasant to Restaurant help took the lead, "Thank you so very much, Maurice", as she slipped him a large bill.

He accepted the bill and the look of shock mirrored that of Rick's expression. "I know I can be difficult at times, but I am working on that issue."

Maurice smiles as he holds her chair, "Certainly Ms. Cowell, we all have those days, I'm glad you are in such a good mood tonight."

"Rick, I am aware of the Bitch that I am labeled as at many places, that stops tonight, please be patient with me Luv, I need you to check me on that kind of crap. I never want to be an embarrassment to you,"

"Gina, you are never an embarrassment to me, don't you think I know why you act the way you do when you do those things, it's usually because I hurt you, and I'm sorry, that also ends tonight."

"Now let's enjoy the dinner, and I have a feeling you are going to have to buy a paper tomorrow" as Rick notices the paparazzi snapping away at the edge of the room.

Gina gets that evil grin on her face, then Rick smiles, no words needed, all that is said is "You want to?" "Sure" and then they stand and put on a show kissing forever staring into each other's eyes, like they were the only two people on the planet, then Rick pulls her into a deep embrace and kisses her till both are screaming for breath, as she caresses the back of his hair. Somewhere during this, the acting stopped, and the actions became real.

A/N Stopping here, Comments Reviews, Follows and Favorites always welcomed, Tim


	8. Chapter 8

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 8**

 **Previously**

" _Yeah Maddie, I don't need a refresher of you taking my boyfriend away or the details, I was so hurt at you, it took a long while to forgive you."_

" _That's my point Becks, you were hurt, it took time, BUT you forgave me, why?"_

" _Because you owned up to how long it was going on and just what a cheating scum bag he was_ _ **, he lied**_ _,_ _ **OH My GOD"**_ _as the words fall out of her mouth, she finally realizes that Rick's reaction to her lie, was eerily similar to the one she had in college._

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Sunday 6:00 AM**

Kate and Maddie had worked into the late-night hours re-examining every entry that Kate had originally placed on her time line, most had additional information put next to them. Kate arose to find Maddie still out like a light on her sofa, so she decided to go for a run to burn off some of her energy, and frustration. Grabbing her phone, keys and small backup piece she always carried when alone, she headed out after scribbling a brief note to Maddie.

She was impressed with her endurance as well as time and each week tried to add a little farther distance to work up to possibly a marathon next year. After her sprints, she jogged then walked to cool down and passed a News Stand that was just opening for business. There it was, in huge letters, **Mystery Writer and Mystery Lady spice up the Hamptons** , below a picture of Rick and Gina locked in an embrace and kiss in what appeared to be a posh restaurant.

She took out one single five-dollar bill she always carried in her sock for emergencies and bought the first paper of the day from the vendor, fighting back tears as she ran the rest of the way home. She didn't bother with the elevator taking the steps two at a time till she was finally within the safe walls of her home did she let the tears flow for real.

Maddie came to hear immediately from the sink where she had just made tea and tried to console her.

"Kate, come on tell me what's got you so upset? I can help but you got to tell me, Come on Becks talk to me, " the more she coaxed the harder Kate cried till finally Maddie just held her till she cried it out and could gain enough composure to talk, well point to the picture and say "I knew it was over, I just knew it. Gina's got him, and I have lost him for good now."

"Kate, look at the photo, they're out to dinner, didn't you say that Gina was the one who set up the publicity shots, by her own admission? This looks like they knew exactly where the cameras were at and were cashing in on an opportunity for publicity."

"You think so Maddie?"

"Kate, what has got you upset, the picture or the fact that Rick is kissing his ex-wife.? My God you can't have it all, you can't expect Rick to sit on a shelve, and wait for you while you are out with the flavor of the month?"

"Truthfully, Maddie?"

"That's a good start Kate?"

"I don't want any other woman touching him, you made my skin crawl yesterday when you said you made a play, and knowing you, it was a power play with all the cleavage you could get away with, on Rick." "It's stupid since up until Friday all he had heard from me where put downs, and rejections to his invitations."

"Great Kate, except you're telling the wrong person, you need to have this conversation with Rick, after you have apologized and explained to him about the lies."

"That's not going to be easy, he's with Gina, and I know she still loves him, she told me she would give me one shot, and I blew it, so what do I do now?"

"That doesn't sound like the Becks who tried out for the track team 4 times before making the team, when did you take up the art of giving up so easily?"

"I know Maddie but the only way I can see him now is to go through Gina, and that's not going to be easy."

"Who said you had to see him, and no don't call and for God's sake don't think about a text, this is something you need to put your heart into words."

"A letter Maddie, really a letter to a master wordsmith?"

"What are your options Becks? Stay here and keep me company while I sift through all the men in New York, burry yourself in your job, or write a fucking letter in hopes that it might, just might get him willing to call you."

"The letter" they both say in unison.

"Will you help me Maddie? I mean I want it to be real, and you are the Queen of real when it comes to relationships,"

"Maybe for everyone else, but if that is true, why am I so lonely and have failed in the last two serious relationships I've had. It's because ALL of us can see what someone else is doing, but looking inwards to ourselves, not many can or are willing to be that brave."

"I'm sorry Maddie, I shouldn't ask you for something that is going to bring up bad memories,"

"Hey Becks, it's OK, really, the moments come and go, a lot faster than they used to, I'm fine now. I want you to think back to the very first lie you told Rick, and list them down, ALL of them, then we'll compose the letter. I'm going to get us some coffee and pastries since all you brought home was a newspaper." She laughs

 **Hamptons Beach House**

 **Sunday 8:00 AM**

Rick awoke to the smell of coffee, then a gentle kiss sweetly on his lips, as he opened his eyes he saw Gina sitting on the edge of the bed, looking like she had just left the beauty parlor, smiling at him. "Good Morning Rick, sleep well Luv?"

"Gina, you look so beautiful", that earns him a deeper kiss lasting longer than she typically kissed him. "Sweetie, Morning Breath "as he holds his hand over his mouth.

"I brushed and gargled Hun, I'm sorry I'll do it again," Gina says embarrassed,

"No Gina, not you, I mean me Sweetie, I haven't brushed yet" bringing her smile back again, as she hands him a little paper cup full of mints,

"No problem, I just didn't want to wait that long, so these will do till then" as she places two mints on Ricks tongue,

Her eyes sparkle as she dives in for a deep probing kiss and trading tongue, mints and love with him, there is no resistance as Rick pulls her to him on the bed, and just holds her. The looks they exchange let her know, that he still loves her, and that it's her in his thought now, no one else.

After a make out session that would teach a high school student new tricks they lay together just breathing in unison. Rick gently strokes the area below her left breast, the one area that always comforts her for some reason and chases the demons of the world away from her mind. She caresses his chest and arm, letting him know that she is there, not going anywhere, as long as he wants her.

"Gina, if I don't get up the coffee is going to get cold, and worse yet, I need to go to the boy's room" he laughs,

"Hurry Back" as she lets him slip off the bed, "I'll pour the coffee, and the paper came so maybe we can glance at it as we plan our day, OK?"

Gina fluffs the bed and pillows, setting up the trays for coffee and pastries sitting on the serving stand. She flips the paper open, and there is the picture, she's sure will have a Detective tied in knots,

"Rick, we made the paper Sweetie," as she shows him the picture and caption on his return.

"You'd think that after all these years they could figure out who that beautiful Mystery Woman is," he laughs.

"Mystery sells more papers, besides everyone in New York knows it can only be one of two women, and Detective Beckett is not a blonde, or she wasn't when she left here." She sighs"

"Hey, no more of that now, OK? I promised you just us two in this bed, don't you go bringing in someone else, OK?" as he kisses her gently, smelling minty from his mouthwash.

"Rick, you smell so minty, and fresh. Expecting some action?" she smiles that flirtatious smile

Rick responds, but not verbally, and he repeats himself a few times over the next 3 hours, leaving Gina spent, but smiling and cuddling next to him.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **10:00 AM**

Maddie has returned with a huge bag of pastries and take out coffees just as Kate has completed her "Lie List"

Kate had started back to even before her Mom died and confessed she did go to a signing with her Mom, then again as a Rookie Cop so she lied when she pretended not to be a fan. She lied when they worked with Sorenson, on the Candela case, his books got her through some very tough times, even Will knew that.

The next lie was the big one, about Tom, well there were a series of lies, she bit the bullet and spelled each one out, one by one.

At the end of each Lie, there were no excuses, just one line **Can you forgive me, I know lies destroyed your first marriage, and mine have destroyed any hopes of even a friendship with you.** I'm not the one with a way with words, but I'm sending a letter along with this, I only hope you take time to read it, all the way through. If you can't forgive me, I'll understand and like you did for me when you thought it would make me happy, I'll stand aside, Please Read it, that's all I ask,

Thanks

 _Dear Rick,_

 _I know you're probably thinking why am I writing you a letter, rather than just call. Well in short, every time I try to talk to you, I screw it up, piss you off or hurt you more._

 _Please know I want to be more than friends with you, hell, I love you and if you don't know you are the only one in New York who doesn't. I also know you don't trust me, and I have to earn that back, that's fair since I have confessed every lie I ever told you._

 _I know Gina loves you deeply, and she has made it clear to me that she won't let anyone, including me hurt you again. I never knew what true love was till I saw you walking out the door with your arm around her. I have never really been in love before, but you leaving, made me wake up, and know that without you, Nothing, believe me Rick, I mean it when I say Nothing including my Mom's case is worth this ache I carry now._

 _I promised Gina that I would clear all communications through her, so please share this with her, If I have truly lost your love, at least it is too a woman who loves you as much as I do. So, there you have it Rick, my confession, every lie, or mistruth I have ever told you._

 _I will never lie to you again, even if it costs me your love, I won't do it. If you can find it in your heart to talk to me, I promise you I will answer any question you want to know about why, or story behind my actions_

 _No matter your decision, please know that I Will Always Love You,_

 _Always,_

 _Kate,_

 **Hampton's Beach House**

 **7:00 PM**

 **Sunday, Same Day**

Rick and Gina had spent the remainder of the day, lounging, reading, and actually talking about things that had happened, both during their marriage and in previous relationships. Gina was still very hurt, that a love of 6 years would just chuck it and run, especially when she needed him most, as she faced the tragic death of her mother.

"Do you still love him Gina? It's OK if you do, I knew you did when I married you, so it's OK now, if you still do." Rick shocks her with the direct question,

"Honestly, Rick, yes but you knew that. How long were we married before you found my forever wish box for my time with Chris, and why didn't you say anything?"

"I found it when you moved in, you had hand carried some valuables, and Eduardo had missed one box, so he brought it up while you were out.

Alexis bumped it, spilling some of the contents on the table, which I put back as closely as possible, but I recognized the prom picture and the class ring, still adorned with the yarn you girls used back in High School.

I didn't say anything for the same reason you didn't say anything when you found my hand written manuscript for A Rose for Ever After, with the special dedication to Kyra, it was over, and I loved you enough to marry, which I think is why you remained silent as well."

"How did you know I found that Rick, I mean I wasn't snooping or anything"

"I know you weren't it was under a pile of contracts you probably picked up to review, and the picture of Kyra and I together was always on page 107 , you put it back in a different spot" he smiles.

Just as they begin to laugh together, they hear the front door chime,

"It's late on a Sunday for a messenger service, are you expecting anything Gina?"

"No Rick, the office actually thinks I am in New Jersey visiting an Aunt, so they wouldn't bother me,"

As Rick signs for the package, it is actually two special delivery letters one to him, one to Gina from Kate Beckett, What the heck is going on.

"Rick you won't know what she has said till you open the envelope, and I am waiting for you before I open the one to me. I just hope she hasn't booby trapped mine" she say kiddingly but then thinks Would she do something like that?

Rick opens the package and takes out the letter, along with the spreadsheet with dates, time and location, along with the lie she told, what the truth was and at the end the question, "Can you Forgive Me Please?" With the sentence about standing aside if Gina will make him happier.

Gina looks over his shoulder, "Rick, this is so not like Kate, she always has to hide something, or keep you guessing, what's going on?"

Rick opens the letter, and reads aloud,

 _Dear Rick,_

 _I know you're probably thinking why am I writing you a letter, rather than just call. Well in short, every time I try to talk to you, I screw it up, piss you off or hurt you more._

 _Please know I want to be more than friends with you, hell, I love you and if you don't know you are the only one in New York who doesn't. I also know you don't trust me, and I have to earn that back, that's fair since I have confessed every lie I ever told you._

 _I know Gina loves you deeply, and she has made it clear to me that she won't let anyone, including me hurt you again. I never knew what true love was till I saw you walking out the door with your arm around her. I have never really been in love before, but you leaving, made me wake up, and know that without you, Nothing, believe me Rick, I mean it when I say Nothing including my Mom's case is worth this ache I carry now._

 _I promised Gina that I would clear all communications through her, so please share this with her, If I have truly lost your love, at least it is too a woman who loves you as much as I do. So, there you have it Rick, my confession, every lie, or mistruth I have ever told you._

 _I will never lie to you again, even if it costs me your love, I won't do it. If you can find it in your heart to talk to me, I promise you I will answer any question you want to know about why, or story behind my actions_

 _No matter your decision, please know that I Will Always Love You,_

 _Always,_

 _Kate,_

Rick has a tear in his eye, and a lump in his throat, and Gina is speechless.

"Rick, I challenged her to tell you the truth, to bare her soul, never thinking she would do it, this took more courage than coming out here did."

"I know, it's not Kate, she always needs to be in control, and nothing would ever been placed with a higher priority than her Mom's case."

Just as Gina completes verifying that her letter was exactly the same as Ricks, His phone chirps with an unknown caller,

"Castle here,"

"No but she is right here, may I ask who is calling, and what this concerns?"

"Oh, I see, one moment"

"Gina, it's for you, it's Chris." As she almost faints.

A/N We are going to leave it here for now, Thanks for the reads, reviews, Favorites and Follows, remember, this is AU, not canon, so how you perceived a character on TV doesn't count here, Thanks for sticking around this long, getting close to the reveal, Updates may be delayed a day or two,. thanks


	9. Chapter 9

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 9**

 **Previously**

Just as Gina completes verifying that her letter was exactly the same as Ricks, His phone chirps with an unknown caller,

"Castle here,"

"No but she is right here, may I ask who is calling, and what this concerns?"

"Oh, I see, one moment"

"Gina, it's for you, it's Chris." As she almost faints.

 **Hamptons Beach House**

 **7:45 PM**

"This is Gina Cowell, who is this?"

"Gina please don't hang up, I know you hate me and you have the right, but can you give me just 20 minutes to explain everything, if you want me to leave then, I promise you'll never hear from me again."

Rick has started to move away from her to allow her privacy, but Gina reaches out and pulls him close, holding his hand.

"How the hell did you get Rick's phone number and why didn't you call me rather than him?"

"I tried your numbers, everyone I had, but you had blocked me from your cell phone, and your landline was disconnected, I'll explain about Rick's phone if you let me, in just a few minutes. It didn't help that your last name was Griffin when we were in school, but you changed your last name to Cowell after you and Rick divorced."

"Why the hell should I listen to a word you have to say, you left me just when I needed you most. Not that it's any of your business I took my mother's maiden name when I was divorced.

Hell, I was 20 years old planning for my mother's funeral and one day you are right with me, the next you're gone, leaving me with nothing but a fucking note. "Please forgive me, it's for your own good and because I love you is why I left"? Who the hell leaves a relationship like that? Gina cries into the phone.

There is silence on the phone for a few seconds, then Chris speaks very slowly and sadly, "A boyfriend who was just diagnosed with lung cancer, and who would rather you go to your grave hating him, than have you relive the hell you just did with your Mom."

I know you are thinking this is Bull Shit, I remember you, every minute we were together, and far too many we've been apart. I have the PET and CAT Scans, Doctors notes, Insurance claims, and all the documentation that you will need Gina, IF I can see you for twenty minutes. I don't expect me to believe me, without proof, and I'm an open book."

"Why now Chris, why after all these years contact me?" Gina's tears and sniffles can be heard through the phone no matter how hard she tries to mask them.

"Because I am now Cancer Free, I was in remission once before for a year and almost contacted you, BUT it came back, and now I have been cancer free for 4 years, my doctors have released me from care.

I've been trying to find you for the last 6 months, and had almost given up, when Rick Castle himself came to a book signing benefiting those without insurance coverage at the hospital. He probably doesn't even remember it, but he donated the entire proceeds not only for that day but the entire week to the hospital for those people.

He signed my copy and I asked him how we could thank him, he gave me his card, with instructions to call him when they held another benefit."

"Chris, you do read, and know Rick and I were married, but are divorced, so if this is a ploy to get to Rick, you're wasting your time,"

"Gina, PLEASE check me out, here is my information, I'm texting it to Rick to have his investigators check me out, I know he will anyway since you too love each other, but are in love with others."

"How the hell do you know that, you've been MIA for hell 8 years, I know our marriage and divorce are public record, but how the hell do you think you know anything about me, or Rick?"

"I'm laying my cards on the table, once I found out that you were married, I thought I had lost you forever, then when I read about the divorce, I thought, there's a chance, but then I knew just how much you hate lies and those who don't meet their commitments.

You needed me, and I wasn't there. Truthfully, when I left Gina, I went to my aunts in Florida to die, never expecting the miracle I've been given. I was sent to Moffitt Cancer Hospital, and was selected for a trial drug, Thank God it worked.

I have this all documented, Gina, if I can only talk to you in person, just for 15 minutes, please, if after that you want me to go, I 'm out of your life forever."

"Where are you now, Chris?

"I'm staying with a friend in the Hamptons two blocks from Rick's house. Can we meet for coffee tomorrow at the Town Center café, say 8:30 AM?"

"Chris, I have to ask Rick, I'm not meeting you alone, and the only one I trust right now, well for a long time is Rick so if that's not OK, then the answer is no."

"I understand Gina, I'll be there but you and Rick talk and I hope to see you both there, if not, then I am truly sorry, those words can't begin to feel the pain I know I caused you, please think about it, please GiMa?"

"You remember after all these years, no one has called me that since Mom died, I'll talk to Rick but no promises," and the line goes dead as Gina disconnects Rick's phone turns and falls into his arms sobbing like her heart has been broken all over again.

Rick holds her for what seems like hours, but in reality, it was only 15 minutes. He had never seen Gina this upset, vulnerable and in so much emotional pain. He gently guided her to the sofa, then retrieved a box of tissues, then whispered,

"Seems we have a lot to talk about, I'll make a pot of coffee.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **8:30 PM Sunday Night**

Kate was turning the kitchen, desk area and all the paperwork around the living room upside down looking for something.

"Becks, what the hell are you doing?"

"Maddie, where the hell are the letters to Rick and the spreadsheet, I had them here and was going to see if I could get them delivered tomorrow while they both were still in the Hampton's."

Maddie pulls out her phone and shows Kate a receipt for the delivery earlier of two letter packets, one to Rick, one to Gina.

"Maddie, when the hell did you do that? I wanted to proof them one more time before we sent them?"

"I sent them when you went for your shower, no chance to back out now Becks, the ball is in Rick's court, well Rick and Gina's."

"Maddie, do you really think they will do any good, I mean it wasn't just a half assed I'm sorry I seem to be so famous for, I just hope that Gina hasn't latched onto him to deep yet. They share a marriage, what the hell do I share with him?"

"Saving each other's lives countless of times kinda counts for something Becks."

"Now that he, and Gina have the letters, I guess we can expect one of two outcomes, either very good or the end of any possibility of me proving my love.

I'm more frightened by how fiercely Gina protected him now, than I am of her prior history with him. She sounded like she had been in my shoes once and considered this her second chance and was not backing down to anyone or anything."

"Becks, that's the biggest surprise to me, the way you talked, everyone thought they hated each other, then all of a sudden she's going away for the summer, something had to happen, God only knows what."

"I lied is what happened" Kate almost whispers, "Rick invited me to his place a full week before Tom did, and I lied and told him I had to work, used all my vacation days looking for a new apartment.

Tom came up with news of a cancellation and didn't know of the lie I told Rick, so he just blurted it out. The look on Rick's face was one I had never seen before, but of course he acted the gentleman that he always does.

He made up the excuse that he was behind on his writing and was just going to stay in the Hamptons to get caught up, that this would be our last case. Maddie, I could have died and just grabbed him, hauled him into a conference room and tell him he couldn't leave me."

"Maybe you should have, obviously you didn't so what did you do?"

"Well I was so shocked with the boys asked me If we were OK, we both said yes of course, but I couldn't concentrate even on a small detail that I had asked them to look into.

Rick wasn't much better, his face was covered with hurt and disappointment, he even left early to get ready for a poker game, he never does that. I guess that's when he and Gina started talking in earnest, and she showed up the next day, you know the rest of the story.

"Kate, I know I have asked you this before, but WHY did you start telling lies, the Becks I knew I could have bet my life on that anything she said was the truth, what happened."

"I think it was when Dad was at rock bottom, I was so ashamed and felt guilty I couldn't get him to stop, when people would ask, I would just gloss over it with a quick lie. Then it grew, it was more convenient to tell a quick lie that to face confrontation, especially about my personal life."

"You know who needs to hear this, just the way you said it to me, just now don't you? Don't put it out there as an excuse to make it all better, but he will understand the action a lot better if he knew where you mind was at when you told the lie."

"I just hope I get the chance, Maddie, this is one that I'm not sure what I will do if I have ruined it for good."

 **Hamptons Beach House**

 **10:45 PM Sunday**

Rick returns to the couch with the coffee, complete with the whole pot and the cream and sugar that Gina has to have in hers. As he approaches the sofa, he notices Gina doing some surfing on the internet on her phone.

"Gina, I'm sorry that was such a shock, but I'll have the agency check his story out Tuesday after the holiday, do you think he is telling you the truth?"

"My heart wants to believe him Rick, but you hear of these types of scams all the time, I mean I love him, that never stopped and if he really did have Cancer it must have been hell to leave everything and everyone behind to go to Tampa to live with his Aunt.

I've heard of Moffitt, they along with MD Anderson are two of the ground breakers in Cancer research and treatment."

"Do you believe that was the reason he left Gina, really or was it something else, and I'm just playing devil's advocate, here, did he ever cheat on you, or you guys ever take a Ross and Rachel, a break,?"

That gets a small laugh out of Gina, "No Rick, we grew up together, and started dating in the ninth grade, truth be told I had a crush on him a lot longer, but we never fought. That's what made him running away so much more hurtful.

I know it bothered him to see Mom deteriorate, and if he thought he was facing something similar, I could understand his logic, not agree with it, but at least understand it." "What do you think Rick, you deal with the bull shitters every day, does this sound like a ploy or is it on the legit."

"I think GiMa that we won't know till you look him in the eyes, and then figure out the answer to do you love him enough to get over the hurt? What is GiMa anyway?"

"My mother became to tired to yell my full name, Gina Marie out when she was getting worse, so she called me GiMa, letting me know she wasn't happy with something I did, just like a child when she used my middle name."

"Rick, I'm asking as my best friend, would you come with me tomorrow, I know you love me, and won't let anything happen to me, I understand if it's too awkward."

"Says the lady who basically gave Kate the playbook to get me to forgive her, even though at the time she knew she loved me as much or more than she did, you stepped aside for Kate to make me happy.

Of course, I will go with you, but if things go well I am going to make an exit and let you catch up. Gina, if you want to spend some time alone with him, you can have the beach house for a few days."

A tear falls from her eye, "I do love you Rick, more than anyone will ever know but I have to see if there is still a spark, I don't want to go through my life and look back some day and say, If Only.

That's very sweet of you, but were will you go if we are here, I mean it will be awkward for Chris, even if it's not for us. Please tell me you plan on taking Kate up on her offer and spending some time with her."

"I want to pick a neutral site, perhaps a cabin near her Dad's upstate New York, that I can rent, but away from all of the distractions. I know you will be fine one way or the other, but if you need me, you know my cell phone. I think I will call Kate tomorrow, after we meet Chris,"

"Rick, why don't you call her tonight, even if my affairs with Chris wash out, you owe it to Kate to at least let her know that you got her letter and you appreciate the way she opened up to you."

Rick looks tentatively, "Go On do it Rick, she's waiting I'm sure"

Rick picks his cell phone up and hits the speed dial for that familiar face that came up on Caller ID,

"Beckett"

Kate is about half asleep and doesn't check the ID, when she hears that voice she is longing to hear,

"Hi Kate, it's good to hear your voice. I got your letter and spreadsheet, it shocked me how open you were. I know we need to talk, but I don't want to do it here, or anywhere that we could get interrupted. I was thinking I would drive back to the city early tomorrow and if you still don't have plans we could drive up to the cabins in the mountains to talk, really talk. I want what you want, and have for a long, long time."

Kate can barely get out her response, "Rick, I'd love that can you call me tomorrow when you leave so I can be ready?"

"It's a date" comes the reply and this time she is glad to hear that word date, maybe there would be a great deal more if this goes well.

A/N Gina was credited as both Cowell and Griffin in the show, that is where that comes from. Without revealing too many details my family has experience with Moffitt and I served on the volunteer board for two years, great organization. The timeline is close to what a real Cancer patient goes through.

Also, to those who think there must ALWAYS be a bad guy when relationships go bad, come back when you grow up, Mature life doesn't follow your high school romance. I wrote Gina the way I perceived her to be in her limited screen time, she did take the Castle women for a Spa date, bought tickets for AC and her BF so she wasn't the personal monsters some want me to paint her as. Demming had been parking in the Beckett garage up until 3 days before and you want RC to change his plans with his hot wife and stay celibate? If that's what you want write you own story, Why did it take you this long to figure out she wasn't going to be a B****?


	10. Chapter 10

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 10**

 **Previously**

 _Rick holds her for what seems like hours, but in reality, it was only 15 minutes. He had never seen Gina this upset, vulnerable and in so much emotional pain. He gently guided her to the sofa, then retrieved a box of tissues, then whispered,_

" _Seems we have a lot to talk about, I'll make a pot of coffee._

 **Hampton's Beach House**

 **Monday 5:30 AM**

Rick had quietly moved to the guest room last evening, once Chris was potentially back in Gina's life, plus he really wanted to talk to Kate, to hear her, not be clouded by the physical memories of his ex-wife. He loved Gina, and her actions in bed showed she loved him, BUT the one that held her heart was Chris, always had, and probably always would so it wasn't fair to put obstacles in her way of happiness.

He awoke to the birds chirping and the sun beating in a window that he had failed to draw the drapes last evening, so he decided to go for a walk on the beach to plan on his visit with Kate, if it went well, there could be many more, it not it could be the last time he would see her. He was deep in thought, so lost in fact he failed to hear or see the blonde join him and place her arm around his waist.

"Rick, thank you, I didn't know how to approach us once I had talked to Chris, I mean I would feel like I was cheating on him, Hell that's stupid, I know I still haven't seen him but I'm sorry I just felt bad that you are alone again."

"Hey there, no worries, we'll see him, and who would lie about Cancer Gina, I mean he could have come up with a thousand stories, but I don't think it's a story. I have a call in to one of my friends at Moffitt, I know they can't say much because of the HIPPA laws, but they can verify if he were ever a patient there."

"I take it you couldn't sleep either Rick, is it Kate, or did I wind up hurting you just like every other woman you loved? I am so conflicted, one side of me wants to go back to Chris and the other part wants nothing more than for the two of us to give it a go again, Is that stupid or crazy Rick?"

"It's not stupid or crazy, I have been thinking the same thing. I know we love each other, I know just how far you will go to protect me, and I know that you would do anything for MY happiness, BUT I also know that if you don't at least try to rekindle your relationship with Chris there will be regrets you live with the remainder of both your lives."

"Is that what you feel about Kate, Rick? It's OK, it's not as hurtful now as it was when I stood by and watch her mistreat you. She's trying now, I mean really trying. It seems like you are the most important thing in her life now."

"Well, I have been fooled before, she goes hot and cold, and I can't, no make that I won't go down that road again. She's either all in, or I'm all out. Hey, we better shower to get to that coffee date, it's getting late" as they make their way back up the beach holding hands but not the same intimacy as just 24 hours ago.

 **Town Center Café**

 **Monday 8:15 AM**

Chris has been pacing back and forth for almost a half hour, before he decides that being 15 minutes early was fashionably OK, and not the sign of a loser. He is seated and watching the door with every chime from the bells over the door announcing a new arrival, his heart leaps with each new guest, but none were her, at least till now and he spots her. She is more beautiful than he remembered, not one hair out of place looking more like she had just come from a salon rather than a beach home. He stands shyly, then Gina spots him, with a slight wave, and she and Rick Castle approach the booth.

"Thanks for coming Gina, Rick, I wasn't sure that you would. I mean I hoped but you know and I'm rambling, so I'll just shut up now."

Rick sticks his hand out, "Rick Castle, good to meet you Chris"

"It's good to see you again, we met at Moffitt Cancer Benefit last month, and you gave me your card."

"I knew you looked familiar, but there were so many people I met that day, all so endearing, forgive me, I don't remember you."

"I was the Volunteer Chairman, for the event, *"

"Oh yeah, you wore a funny hat with tons of pink ribbons" as Chris smiles,

"Yep that was me."

"Hi Chris, you look thinner, than the last time I saw you," Gina finally has found her voice.

"Is that good or bad GiMa?" he laughs, "Seriously I am about at my goal weight, I was down to 113 pounds at the worst of the treatments, but I am back now."

"I'm sorry Chris, that a was stupid thing to say, forgive me please."

"Gina, we are here because I was stupid years ago, so no matter what happens today, no one can top that stupid act, I wish I could go back and have the courage to at least tell you the truth, but I was a coward."

"You look good Chris, you really do" he's slightly shorter than Rick, not as big a build but is well defined in the muscles showing under his Polo shirt. His hair is styled, and has his sideburns just at his ear level, neatly trimmed.

"Thanks Gina, you look younger and more beautiful than ever. If you don't mind me asking how long you and Rick were married, and you seem so close **"

"Well I screwed up Chris, I kept bringing the Gina Cowell from work home instead of allowing her to be the editor, and boss at work, then fall back to Gina Castle at home. It caused a lot of tension, and I held parts of my family away from her, probably the most hurtful thing I did looking back now."

Gina dabs a tear from her eyes, and replied, "Well, there was enough blame to go around, I didn't approach it with 100% honesty and tell you when you were hurting my feelings, I responded with anger at work, which snowballed and 2 years later we divorced."

"Chris, if you're wondering did I know about you then, Yes I did, and Gina knew of my heart breaker as well, so it was two souls who found each other, with common interests, especially in writing, and fell in love. I still love her", Chris has a look of panic on his face, before Rick continues, "But I'm not in love with her, just like she's not in love with me. Does that make sense?"

Gina smiles for the first time, and takes Chris's hand, "You see why he needs an editor, translated, yes I love him, BUT I never got over you, just as he is in love with someone else now."

Chris smiles for the first time since sitting down, and holds Gina's hand in both of his across the table, "I think I understand Gina's version Rick, but I'm glad she didn't go through this time alone, even if you two were divorced it seems like you have stayed part of each other's lives."

Gina laughs now, "You could say that, I'm still his editor, and he still lies to me about his deadlines, but when it comes down to it, there is no one else I trust like I do Rick."

"I can tell by the way he protects you, he cares for you a great deal, Gina, I just wish I was strong enough to at least give you the facts back then, it was wrong, and I am here to ask you for forgiveness.

I didn't want you to have to see me deteriorate as you did, my God you just had finished witnessing your Mom, how could I ask you to do it again?"

"That wasn't your choice, Chris, what would you have done had it been me? Would you have run, or would you have been by my side just like you had been all those years? I was angry, but also so hurt that you held something from me."

Ricks phone rings with an unknow caller ring tone just at that moment, and he excuses himself to take the call, leaving Gina and Chris alone to talk.

"I love you Chris, I would have been by your side, no matter how painful it was, but you robbed me of almost 9 years of your life, our lives, because you didn't want me to see you deteriorate? I know it was painful to watch Mom, but at least I can say I saw her fight it till her last breath, I needed you then, and you ran."

"Gina, I never stopped loving you, there were no other women in my life since you, or never will be if you choose to kick me to the curb, I just have no interest in anyone but you. You're right, I took the cowards way out, and there isn't a day I regret that decision, I would change it if I could, that's why I'm here begging you for another chance to earn your love back, along with your trust."

Rick returns from outside the café and his call, and asked Chris staring him straight in the eyes,

"Who is Dr. Salazar? Why did you see him, and why did you cancel?"

Gina looks surprised at not only Rick's tone but also his direct questions to Chris, until she hears him answer quietly,

"He is a Doctor who assists with patient conducted suicides, I met during a fund raiser, and after being in remission for a year, then having the Cancer come back, I'm ashamed now but yes I was his patient for 3 visits. Part of Florida Law mandates you have a psychological exam after meeting with him. It was during our sessions that I discovered, I needed to fight, to beat it again and to find Gina and apologize if nothing else," as tears fill not only his but Gina's as well.

"Gina if this is a deal breaker, now that you know just how weak I really am I'll understand."

Gina responds by reaching over the table, grabbing his face and kissing him, sweetly and gently, "I'm sorry you went through this alone, I think we need to go somewhere private to talk. Rick is your offer still good?"

Rick smiles, "Of course, you know the codes, by the way Maria came in today and changed all the linens and towels so it's spotless for you two."

Chris has this look of what the heck, "Chris, Rick has to go see his heart break now, so he has left us the use of his beach house for the rest of the week unless you don't want to, I'm sorry that was presumptuous of m*"

She doesn't get to finish her sentence before Chris has returned her sweet kiss, "You're not presumptuous at all, I would love that."

"Rick, how can we repay you for your generosity, you are one in a million and I can see why Gina loves you," Chris asks quietly.

"How about you two talking first, I know the physical attraction is still there, but Gina, you had a list of questions, and I added some to it, the sheet is on the dining room table. Once you work through that you will both know if the spark is there, then you kids are on your own," he laughs "I have to go see a lady myself.

Gina turns his face to hers, cups it gently with both hands, "Rick Castle I will always love you, but I hope Kate is as deeply in love with you as I am with Chris, Good look Hun" then kisses him in a very sweet, loving way, with tears rolling down her eyes.

Chris and Gina stroll out of the coffee shop together, holding hands almost like on a first date all over again. I hope you're right Gina, God I hope you are right this time he thinks as he prepares to call Kate.

He reaches into his pocket retrieves his phone, and this time there is no hesitation as he hits speed dial 1, and smiles as the voice on the other line answers,

"Good Morning Rick, I'm so glad you called, are you leaving the Hamptons now?"

"Hi Kate, it's good to hear your voice, and yes, I booked a cabin about an hour upstate, we can stay for the week, it has two bedrooms just so you know I am not being presumptuous. I'll get you back to the city any time you want, that is if you still want to go."

Kate giggles on the other end of the phone, "Actually Rick, I took the rest of the week off, and don't worry about being presumptuous, BUT we, well mostly I do need to talk first. I'll see you in a few hours?"

"I should be there by 11:00 AM, and Kate,"

"Yeah Rick?"

"I've missed you so very much."

"I know, I missed you as well, hurry up and get here so we can stop missing each other, OK?"

"It's a date."

There were those words again, maybe they didn't mean anything but Kate decided to hold on to them, she knew the talk was going to be rocky in some parts, but she is praying that Rick loves her enough to forgive her, she'll know soon.

A/N Last chapter coming up with Rick and Kate's talk, then hopefully there will be happiness for all of my characters. This is the prompt that got me going down this path, Swordwriter I know you had your doubts and I took you by surprise with some events, but I hope it met or exceeded your expectations. I remember one line from the series, nothing is ever easy between the two of them, so we followed that here. If you have an idea, don't be shy, please PM or send to me in a review. Kate my reviewer without an email, I hope you saw I dedicated this story to you, thanks for your support, wish I convey it to you all one on one.

Swordwriter chapter 13. Sep 19

Outstanding cap to this series. Truly, beautifully done. I hope to read many more of your stories. One idea for a new story. I'd like to see a different take on the season two cap, where the Hamptons debacle doesn't happen. Same scenario up to the point where Gina walks in. At that point, Kate decides to fight for her man. And win. Kate goes with Rick. AND they STAY together, permanently.


	11. Chapter 11

On Hold **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note **:** Thisis my **AU version** of events as the end of Season 2 was played out. Kate takes the initiative to tell Castle what she wants, is she too late? NO Doctor MB, but some old characters, owned by both Marlowe and me will pay a visit in this story. This will have ANGST, but I think you will like the end result. I liked the TV Show, but several areas bothered me, treating Kate as the victim, she said NO, so the time limit doesn't matter, no guy is going to put his life on hold, waiting for and if the one he is interested in comes around. This will examine the summers of each and then well, read and find out.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 11**

 **Previously**

 _Kate giggles on the other end of the phone, "Actually Rick, I took the rest of the week off, and don't worry about being presumptuous, BUT we, well mostly I do need to talk first. I'll see you in a few hours?"_

" _I should be there by 11:00 AM, and Kate,"_

" _Yeah Rick?"_

" _I've missed you so very much."_

 **Monday 9:10 AM Memorial Day**

 **Hamptons Town Center Café**

Rick secures the suitcase he had packed from his store of clothes at the Beach House the previous evening and climbs into his Escalade. Kate hasn't seen this car yet, but what the heck, it was time to let her know his secrets as well, especially since she had barred her soul to him. The traffic was extremely light for Monday, then he remembered, it is a holiday and most people are already where they want to be by now, and he would be soon.

On a whim, he stops at a coffee shop and buys her favorite coffee and bear claw, adding a single rose to it, from the display by the register, he's back in the car and at Kate's building I no time. Too excited to wait for the elevator he takes the stairs two at a time, till he reaches her floor, then treads quietly to her apartment. He's the one who is surprised when the door flies open and Kate Beckett jumps into his arms and kisses him with all of her might.

"Rick, I'm so glad to see you, I've been pacing in front of the window forever, then you pulled up in a car that I didn't know, but I saw your shoulders and I knew it was you, God I've missed you.

I want to make up for all of the stupid and cruel things I've done and I know that Gina is going to give me the fight of my life, but I just want to say this now, before I lose my courage, Rick, if she makes you happy just tell me, and I will be out of your life.

I finally realized just what love means, and I want you to know I love you Richard Castle, there I said it, I Love YOU!" Kate is almost completely out of breath by the time she finishes her speech, but still has her arms around his neck, legs wrapped around him and staring deeply into those blue eyes that melt her soul.

Rick gently steps to the counter, with Kate locked on to him, where he deposits the coffees that barely survived the onslaught along with the bear claws and the one single rose that Kate has yet to see. Now that his hands are free, he grabs her hips and drives the front door shut, and returns her kiss, even deeper, demanding control, she grants and the two conduct a make out session to rival a college couple.

"Wow, Kate can I leave and come back and get that same welcome? I didn't miss you saying the I love you, but I have to tell you," Kate's face begins to fall in heartbreak, "I don't love you, I'm totally, undeniably, completely IN LOVE with you Kate Beckett, I have been for almost a year."

Kate's tears fall from her eyes without shame, or guilt as she kisses Rick again and again.

"God please never do that to me again, please, I thought I had lost you and I know I told you how brave I'd be, but I lied. I don't know what I would do without you with me Rick."

She then spots the single red rose, in the vase, and the two coffee's and her bear claw, just a few days ago she remembered for the first time in two years Rick showed up timidly, with only his coffee, after he had said it would be his last case. The tears fall harder now as she speaks,

"You stopped for coffee and bear claw, oh and I love the rose, Thank You Rick, I really love what they all symbolize. It took me a while but when you showed up without my coffee, it was like not saying I love you, I took those for granted before but never again, if you give me the chance."

"Kate, we have a lot to talk about, but believe me, you haven't lost me to anyone, especially Gina."

"What? I mean she told me she loved you and I was in for the fight of my life after I screwed up coming up there and hurting you again, what happened?"

"Well in the first place she DOES love me, and I love her, BUT I am not in love with her, that my sweet lady is you, and only you.

She's in love with her first love from years ago, who came back into the picture, and they are talking now at the beach house. That's one reason I wanted to go to the mountains, and also because it would be a first, the first time you and I were away together without memories of someone else being there before us. You deserve to be first in my life Kate, in so many ways."

Kate finally unwraps her legs from Rick and stands but doesn't move her arms from around his neck. She begins a deep and passionate kiss, that could only send one message, and it is being received loud and clear by Rick.

"Kate, if you keep that up, I won't be able to control myself, and I know you want to wait, so i*"

Her mouth covers his and she slides her hand down gently taking his and guides them to her bedroom.

"Rick, this is someplace you may think others have been, but Babe, they weren't. I could only pretend so much that they were you, but this, our first time I want it here in my bed where I can remember it for the rest of my life."

"Are you sure, I mean I know we aren't back to us, or the new version of us whatever that's going to be, but I want you to be all the way committed. My heart can't take another break, I literally was hanging on by a thread.

"Babe, this is the new version of us, I am your woman, you are my man, free to make love, to kiss, to hold hands, to scream it front the rooftops I'm Richard Castle's Conquest forever," she half laughs half cries

He doesn't need anymore assurance and it is almost 4 hours late that they finally check into the cabin resort he had booked.

"We'd almost given up on you Mr. Rogers, glad you could make it," drawls the clerk behind the desk. "We have your suite just as you asked Sir, please let us know if you need anything further."

"Thank You" Rick reply's as he shakes the man's hand palming a large bill as usual for his gratuity.

The Cabin, well it looks like a cabin on the outside, but inside it is beautiful with a kitchen, living space with a fireplace, two bedrooms, each with their own bath suites, and a very comfortable sitting area just inside a screened back porch, that could also have the widows lowered and the Air Conditioner turned on if needed.

Kate had gravitated towards the back porch, and opened the slider going out, as Rick came up from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, as she leaned back against him.

"Thanks Rick, I know you put a lot of thought into the timing as well as the where we talk, do you mind if you just hold me for a few minutes. I'd like to say somethings, and I need to feel your touch, I'm so afraid I will lose it, and I have to hang on to it for every minute I can, please?"

"Babe, I'm right here, while you are thinking let me say this, I was blown away at how open and brutally honest you were in your spreadsheet, and your letter. I know I was speechless, and Gina became a big supporter of yours, I know that sounds weird, but all she truly wanted was for us to be happy."

"Well Rick, she loves you for sure, she told me that if I ever hurt you again, badge or no badge bad things would happen to me, and she was serious, I was afraid that she was going to take the love you offered to me, I foolishly tossed away, and cling to it like I am going to do if you offer it again after we talk."

"Rick, can I ask you to do me a favor please?"

"Sure, Kate what do you need?"

"Please look at me, when I am talking, look into my eyes, my heart, my soul like you always can do, and hear me when I say, I am more than sorry could ever express for the hurt I put not only you, but Alexis, Martha and all those who love you, including Gina.

If I break down, please just hold me till I recover, and Babe, remember that I did this to purge my soul of all lies and deceit that has stood between us, like you said, no more subtext, just straight talk."

For the next three hours Kate goes through her spreadsheet detailing every occurrence of mis truth, deceit, and outright lie to Rick. As she suspected the lies most recently about Tom caused him the most pain and brought her to tears as she saw this good man reduced to a shell, barely holding on to normalcy, and forever trying to hide by humor. Just as she finished the lie about having to work, Rick shed a tear.

She explained why, and the truth was it started off as a physical attraction, since she was afraid she would never be good enough for him, a millionaire playboy writer, he broke down completely. It was Kate who held him in her arms, comforting, and kissing his temples, whispering she would never leave him if he would have her. She finally finished the items on her list, and quietly asked,

"Babe, did I forget anything? How can I make this up to you?"

Rick looked up at her through pools of tears in his eyes, and asked,

"Have I ever made you feel like you were not good enough for me, Kate? If I have PLEASE forgive me, God forgive me, because you were my Angel sent down from heaven to rescue not only my writing career, but me, as a person. I have to know the truth Kate, Did I?"

"Rick, you have treated me like a princess, even when I was the wicked witch, you still tried to make those glass slippers fit on my feet. I have never felt more love, and safer anywhere than in your arms."

"When we made love at your apartment, was that to confirm to me or you that I loved you, I'm sorry if that sounds crass, but you said you wanted the first time to be in a place you can remember the rest of your life. You really expected me to go to Gina, didn't you Kate?

"What no, uh, you, Hell Yes I expected you to go to her Rick, she's beautiful she has the physical traits it would take a plastic surgeon to give me, and I know how much you love signing chests, well good luck with this one.

I wanted to make love to you just once, if that's the only chance I ever got, I could dream about the one time that a man truly took me to heaven, I didn't realize that you bought an all day pass for that trip," she smiles through watery eyes.

Rick walks to her chair where she has sat with her fit on the ottoman, looks down at her, and takes her hand.

"That time was for you, this time is for me, well us if you will have me Kate. I told a lie, I do love you as well as being in love with you, and the all-day pass is still good for a little while longer" he smiles.

Rick, are we good, I mean I know it will take a while but I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust, I know I have your love, but I want you to be able to trust me as well. Is there ANYTHING we need to talk about?

"Well, now that you mention it, there is one thing,"

"OK" she says with fear in her voice, "just tell me Babe I will make it right I swear."

"Nothing to make right, I love when you call me Babe, and you were right, I had no idea, but I would like to keep finding out for years to come. Let's start at your pace, I know we're in love but don't do anything to hurt your career."

"Rick, you are my new career, Maddie was right, I want to stay home and make little Castle Babies, can we do that?"

Rick smiles and carries her to the suite, no words were needed, his life was finally purposeful, and he was on hold no longer. His Kiss tells Kate the answer she has been hoping for, and finally she is secure with her man, life is truly good.

A/N This is the end of the story, Thanks to all who read, favorited, reviewed and special thanks to Swordwriter who suggested the prompt. I hope to see you all on a future story.


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